Who shot Cooper? I’d always assumed it was Leland, but maybe it wasn’t. Cooper comes with baggage and that’s just how I like my heroes. On last week’s episode of “Twin Peaks,” we talked about weenies, Cooper’s connection to Windom Earle, and General Horne’s rewrite of history. This week, it’s Cooper’s turn on the chess board.

Funeral

Evelyn is dressed in black and playing the grieving widow, but there is nothing legit about this dame. She blames her husband’s death on James to the investigating officer. Donna takes James to the opera at Wallie’s Bar, which leaves me wondering if I just stepped into “The Twilight Zone.” Donna and James are not the brightest bulbs in the carton.

Harry and Cooper question Bobby and Shelly about zombie Leo. Bobby, when he’s not fighting those damn Yankees, tells Cooper that he and Shelly are lovers and, that Hank shot Leo.

Miguel Ferrer’s Albert returns and he is a sight for sore eyes. Albert’s appearance on this episode reminds us of better days and better scripts. He has information on Windom Earle. Earle is sending packages to various police stations. It contains clothing; Caroline’s wedding apparel. Albert hasn’t lost his touch. His critique of Cooper’s new fashion style would make Tim Gunn of “Project Runway” proud.

Windom

One wonders what originally drove Windom over the brink. Did it happen before the affair between Cooper and Caroline? Was it the grind of day to day dealings with evil criminals? Leo is now getting a taste of Windom’s sick mind. Do I feel pity? No! Leo has met his Karma and is getting back what he gave out to Shelly. Windom is a master of torture and he is conditioning Leo.

The Weenie File

I promised to list the useless scenes under The Weenie File and I didn’t have to wait long. Leo talks over the last twenty years of his life with his lover, Norma. They’re all lovey dovey until Nadine comes home with her trophy. How is that house still standing? Nadine can’t open a door without pulling it from its hinges, and yet, no medical tests are done on her.

All three are in bed talking about life in general. Nadine isn’t upset with Ed and Norma being in bed together. Nope, she’s only upset with coming in second place in the high school wrestling competition. Nadine is peachy fine with Ed and Norma doing their thing because the loony toon likes her men, younger.

Speaking of dumb ass scenes, this one definitely deserves to be in The Weenie File. Josie is questioned about Cousin Jonathan’s death. Why is Harry, holding Josie’s hands during the interrogation? The only interesting part of this interrogation is when Pete’s pickup from the laundry offers a clue for Cooper. And speaking of dumb ass scenes, this whole James and Evelyn thing is stupid. Donna has a chat with the tipsy Evelyn, but then James returns to Evelyn’s home to confront her. There is a struggle and Malcolm is dead. I don’t know why this plot is still alive and kicking.

I was almost tempted to place this scene in The Weenie File, but it was too freaking funny. Ben’s entire office is now a replica of the south surrendering to the north, but in Ben’s delusional mind, the south wins. The marching band was a bit too much, but Uncle Jerry gets a lesson in business from the very smart Audrey, when she reminds Jerry why it’s so important that her father get better. If she takes over the Great Northern, Jerry will be out in the street. Audrey, like Albert, is a welcomed sight during this dark period of the show.

Audrey would have made a wonderful Scarlett O’Hara. I can’t say this enough. Sherilyn Fenn is the best actress on “Twin Peaks.” While the other female characters play the victim, Sherilyn has always played her character as smart and capable. Luckily for Uncle Jerry, Ben is cured with a wink to The Wizard of Oz.

Eckhardt

Catherine gets a visit from her brother’s rival and enemy and Josie is forced to serve them during dinner. Thomas Eckhardt only kills for love, or so he says. Catherine offers Josie to Thomas. Did Catherine understand that giving Josie to Thomas was human trafficking? Did you know that human trafficking is the number one import and makes more money than drugs and guns? A lot of people don’t.

Chess

I love Albert. He knows everything and, he is loyal to his friend. The fibers from Josie’s coat are a perfect match to those found outside Cooper’s room. Did Josie shoot Cooper? Damn! Cooper wants to keep this a secret from Harry until they are positive. We find out who the dead chess piece was; Eric Powell. That was Caroline’s maiden name. Cooper now realizes that every chess move that Windom makes means another corpse.

Conclusion

The Weenie File is growing. I want it to stop. I read Andy Burns‘ book about the show. His love of the series is evident, but I had never seen the show. Watching “Twin Peaks” after reading his book, Wrapped in Plastic: Twin Peaks, was extremely helpful. I wanted to watch the show for myself and I thought I was prepared for all the episodes; good and bad, but the past few episodes were disappointing. I was surprised to learn that Diane Keaton was the director for this episode. I guess I was expecting better from her.

Windom is a cocky serial killer. He’s not as entertaining as Leland, but he’s just as frightening. Windom is waiting for Cooper to make his next move. Windom has plans on using the girls of Twin Peaks as his pawns. He’s not afraid of being caught. He’s a master of disguises.

Cooper isn’t that great a chess player, but he’d better learn fast because Windom just dropped off a letter for Audrey and left a surprise in Cooper’s bed. The game is on, and hopefully, Pete can teach Cooper how to win.

I can only hope that the series returns to its former excellence.

If I’d known that the game of chess was so freaking deadly, I would have played it sooner. The battle is on between our little boy scout Cooper and Windom Earle. On the last episode of “Twin Peaks,” the plaster cast of Caroline Earle and a recording confirms the evilness of Cooper’s adversary. Make your move Coop or someone else will die.

Knight Takes Bishop

How is Cooper supposed to outsmart the chess king? Hopefully Pete is just as good at chess 101 as he is at making smiley face breakfast for his not so dead brother-in-law. I am surprised that Pete is keeping mum about Andrew’s rise from the grave. I do love how Andrew and Peter both enjoy aggravating Queen Catherine. I’m starting to believe that Pete’s dumb act is a ruse and that he is really a smart cookie who gets the last laugh in the end.

Josie on the other hand, doesn’t have the stomach for the returning dead. She faints when she sees Andrew alive and eating breakfast. Catherine is enjoying Josie’s shock, but Andrew is the least of Josie’s problems. She has Albert sniffing up evidence and poor Harry stressing over her connection to Cousin Jonathan. I think he knows in his heart that Josie killed Jonathan.

Albert is looking to haul Josie’s little behind to jail. He has proof that the bullet found in Jonathan’s skull matches the bullet that shot Cooper. When Cooper hesitates, hoping that Josie will turn herself in, Albert comes out with the best sarcastic reply, ever. “Maybe she’ll grow wings and join the circus.” I freaking love Albert.

Hank hobbles in on crutches and tries to make a deal with Harry; information on who really killed Andrew Packard. Hank spits out Josie’s name and Hawk, bless his heart, kicks the crutches from under Hank, sending him to the ground. Hank is a jerk and a lousy shot. The three people he was hired to kill: Andrew, Catherine and Leo, are still alive. Kick him again, Hawk!

Audrey

Audrey is learning that running a business is not all fun and games. She now has taken on the role of concierge at the Great Northern. Her first customer is a handsome, but cocky cutie pie named John Justice Wheeler (Billy Zane). He wants someone to pick up his luggage from the airport. Then he mentions that he remembers her from a school play. It must have been a memorable performance because Audrey was only ten years old at the time. After cutie pie leaves, Audrey opens the letter from Windom. There will be a gathering of angels at the Road House.

Weenie File

Nadine comes home from school early to tell Ed that she’d rather go steady with Mike. It didn’t take long for Ed to boogie over to Norma with the good news, or for Norma to spread the joy to Hank. She wants a divorce. If he refuses, Norma can always sic Nadine on Hank again. Enough already with Nadine! Why isn’t anyone evaluating her mental status or better yet, shouldn’t Mike’s parents be obtaining a restraining order against this cougar?

Donna and James have a farewell picnic, blah, blah, blah. He needs time. She’ll wait. I could care less. Really, I could care less.

Pine Weasel

Ben is back to normal. Cutie Pie is now on Ben’s board of directors along with Audrey, Uncle Jerry and Bobby and, they’re all trying to understanding what pine weasels have to do with the hotel’s future. But Ben has decided that being an environmentalist will stop Catherine from building on Ghostwood Estates. If Ben succeeds, he’ll run for the senate. He’ll fit in nicely with the other losers in Congress. Cutie pie seems hot for Audrey, but she reminds him that she is only eighteen. I don’t think that’s a problem for John Justice Wheeler. He doesn’t seem to have Cooper’s high standards.

Josie

Except for Harry and Pete, not too many people liked Josie (Joan Chen) and, Josie’s constantly playing the martyr did nothing to endear her to the viewers. Catherine sets the trap for tonight’s episode by leaving a gun in plain sight. Andrew sets the bait by telling Thomas that Josie tipped him off about the assassination. The only one concerned for her safety is Harry and Cooper, but they might be too late.

Conclusion

The only winner in tonight’s episode is the pine weasel. With Ben at the help of this ark, all furry creatures are safe from the bulldozer. Donna, Shelly and Audrey are at the Road House for the “gathering of angels” meeting. Their invitations are a clue, a badly written poem and, all the while, they are being watched by a master chess player. Let’s hope Pete can teach Cooper how to play chess because our angels’ lives depend on it.

We finally find out why Josie shot Cooper. She was afraid of him. Josie knew that it wouldn’t be long before he’d start digging into her past. When you really think about this, it hits you that Josie was never a victim. She was cold-hearted enough to shoot our favorite federal agent and, she was peachy fine shooting Jonathan in the head. After shooting Thomas, she points her gun at Cooper and Harry, then she drops dead. Just like that. Who the hell dies like that?

While Harry holds the dead woman in his arms, our favorite monster makes a guest appearance. I didn’t expect to be happy when Cooper had his vision, but hell yeah, I was. Since Leland’s death, the spirit of “Twin Peaks” sagged in the middle like a deflated balloon. Windom Earle’s devious abuse of Leo and his clever ruse of chess moves and angel invitations to destroy Cooper helped to blow some life into the party balloons, but there is only one monster that can scare the frosting off a cake. Welcome back, Frank Silva! You are a sight for weenie weary eyes.

BOB (Frank Silva) makes his entrance with a taunt, “Coop! What happened to Josie?” Cooper is left speechless as the Little Man from Another Place does his dance moves on the bed. As the vision fades and Harry holds his dead lover in his arms, there is a sudden chill in the air.

We see Josie’s soul crying out for help. She is trapped inside the wooden drawer handle. The show is back on track, and hopefully, I can put the Weenie File to rest. Welcome Back, Twin Peaks.

Hell in a basket, or as we saw on the last episode of “Twin Peaks,” hell might be located inside a piece of furniture, because that’s where Josie’s soul is trapped. With BOB back in the picture, Cooper has two enemies to deal with. I hope Pete is good at chess because Windom Earle is about to make his next move.

Harry

While Cooper is meeting Norma’s little sister, Annie (Heather Graham), a former Nun who wants to work as a waitress, Harry is going through a really bad time over Josie’s mysterious death. I really feel Harry’s pain and no one can blame him for drowning his sorrows in whiskey. He loved Josie even if he suspected her to be less than truthful.

Michael Ontkean has done one hell of a job making us care for Harry Truman, the good cop, who often takes a backseat to MacLachlan’s Cooper, or the antics of his wacky staff. Harry’s observation that Twin Peaks used to be a simple town brought back Renault’s similar observation in the episode “Checkmate” when Renault told Cooper, “Maybe you brought the nightmare with you.” Is there some truth to both statements? There are some of us who believe that evil is drawn to good; darkness to light.

With Harry out of commission on this episode, Hawk and Cooper are left with taking care of the town. When the coroner’s report can find no logical or medical reason for Josie’s death, or that she only weighed sixty-five pounds at death, Cooper tells Hawk about his vision of BOB and the Little Dancing Man. How could Josie only weigh sixty-five pounds? The answer might have to do with the weight of a soul.

Did you know that there have been studies done on bodies to see if they weigh less immediately after death? The 21 Grams Theory is the theory that the weight that one doctor figured the soul weighed after doing research on six patients and fifteen dogs, but later research proved Dr. Duncan MacDougall’s research inconclusive.

Log Lady

While Cooper is talking to Annie, the most loved of the Twin Peaks’ characters walks in. I’m talking about the Log Lady who is portrayed by Catherine E. Coulson. The Log Lady always speaks the truth even though it’s often told in riddles, but she’s always on target. She notices something familiar about Major Briggs’ tattoos and alerts Cooper. What is the connection?

Windom

When Windom is not in disguise, he is beating up on Leo. I guess I should feel bad for Leo, but I don’t, not even when Windom takes his anger out on Leo after reading Cooper’s latest move in the newspaper. I wonder if Windom realizes that Cooper has an expert on his team.

Windom stops by Donna’s house pretending to be Gerald Craig, a friend of her father’s. Why Donna would allow a stranger into the house is questionable especially after all the stuff that has been going on, but she does. Windom lays on the charm before leaving Donna with a phone number and a gift for her father.

Gerald Craig died years ago, so how did Windom learn about him? When Doc Hayward opens the package, it’s a clue; Knight to King’s Bishop 3. The phony phone number belongs to the cemetery. If I foolishly questioned the cleverness of Windom, or the level of his madness, I won’t in the future.

Jones

Catherine gets an unexpected visit from Eckhardt’s assistant, Jones. Jones tells the sly Catherine that Josie and Eckhardt will be buried side-by-side, “So they can keep an eye on each other.” Jones leaves Catherine with a mysterious black metal box as a gift for her and Andrew. Maybe Catherine should get the bomb squad to open the box.

Long Live the Weenie File

I thought we had seen our share of dumb ass scenes, but no! We are made to suffer through another Ed and Nadine soap opera. Ed doesn’t know how to tell Nadine that he wants a divorce, so he has Dr. Jacoby there for moral support. I am getting very tired of Nadine. She is dating a teenager. Why isn’t she in jail? How did the scene of her and Mike registering for a room help with the plot? It didn’t and, we’re still in the dark as to the origin of her superpowers.

I really didn’t want to put Audrey in the Weenie File, but the conversation between her and the Billy Zane Character, was not up to form, in fact, it sucked big time. Was Wheeler created as Audrey’s love interest because of Kyle MacLachlan’s discomfort with his character having sex with an underage teen? Whatever the reason, the Wheeler character never felt right and neither did Audrey’s instant attraction to him. The picnic scene was dumb and so was Wheeler’s saving her at the end of the episode.

The Weasel debacle also made it to the Weenie File. I thought the whole “Save the Pine Weasel” plot had potential, especially, with Dick Tremayne and Mr. Pinkel running the show. I even liked the fashion show with models Andy and Lucy wearing outfits that only could be described as Lumberjack Chic, but the mad dash from the escaping weasel fell flat on its face. I guess Ben Horne will need another way to stop Catherine from building on the Ghostwood land.

Conclusion

A lot of scenes made it to the Weenie File this episode. After seeing BOB make his grand reappearance on the last episode, I assumed that “Twin Peaks” had returned to its former kickass scripts, but it seems that I might need to keep that Weenie File open.

What I did enjoy about this episode was Pete trying to explain the pros and cons of using a stalemate move in chess. No matter what Cooper does, people will die and even in the best of games, you chance loosing at least six pawns or in Windom’s case victims. Cooper is well aware that he must protect the queen, no matter what. This is no easy matter, but especially because Windom is such a master of disguises. Unrecognized by Cooper, Windom witnessed the sparks that passed between Cooper and Annie.

The log knows all! The Log Lady and Major Briggs compare tattoos while Cooper writes on the board. We learn that Log Lady had disappeared when very young. She doesn’t remember much about her abduction except that there were bright lights and the sound of owls hooting. This could explain why Log Lady knows so much about the goings on in that town.

Josie had a record as long as her arm, plus she was a killer. That said, I still hated to see her become a prisoner of BOB. Hell doesn’t always have to be brimstone and flames. Hell could be a spirit trapped in furniture. It could happen. There is a Syfy show called “Haunted Collector” which revolves around a real demonologist, John Zaffis, who has to deal with spirits trapped or attached to an item. Really scary stuff.

At first, I couldn’t understand Cooper’s handling of Harry’s grief. Couldn’t he wait before dumping more bad news on our sad sheriff? Couldn’t he have waited before telling Harry that Josie was a bigger loser than previously thought, especially since Cooper carried around his own baggage, like an affair with his partner’s wife? In the end, Cooper did what a good friend does when the rug has been pulled from under you. Cooper hugged Harry. A hug is all you can offer, sometimes.

Unfortunately, we were left with three mysteries. What’s in that black metal box? What secret could Ben Horne possibly share with Donna’s mother? Why is Jones climbing into bed with Harry? Maybe Jones has some ‘New Age’ grief therapy she wants to try on our heartbroken Sheriff. Damn!

The last episode of “Twin Peaks” was all about secrets and how they can literally kill you. Twin Peaks is a town of secrets. It’s like Congress. While Harry is dealing with his grief a stranger climbs into his bed. Wake up Harry!

Secrets

We pick up in this episode exactly where we left off. Harry’s bodyguard is either knocked out cold or dead. Jones uses Josie’s perfume to confuse the sleeping sheriff. But, it isn’t words of love that Jones wants whisper into Harry’s ear. Using a wire, she tries to kill our sheriff, but luckily for the show, Harry breaks free and knocks her out.

Cooper’s advice for Harry’s hangover sends Harry and the viewers running for the bathroom. Cooper tells Harry that Jones tried to kill him because of Eckhardt’s sexual jealousy. That might be possible. Jones was in love with Eckhardt and she did what he would have done if he hadn’t been killed; eliminate all rivals. All you have to do is watch the news to learn how common sexual jealousy is. Why do you think abusive husbands kill their wives? These sociopaths would rather spend life in jail, than allow their ex-wives to live a normal life. Sick minds!

Doc tells Cooper and Harry about Windom’s visit, but what they don’t know is that Windom is listening in via Bonsai plant, which was supposedly from Josie. David Lynch revives his role as Gordon and it sure as hell helped with the storyline.

I think David should have been in a few more episodes of season two. I wouldn’t have needed the Weenie File if he were. Gordon tells Cooper that Windom was part of Project Blue Book. It was a secret assignment. Gerard and Windom were using the same drug, haloperidol. The good news is that Gordon reinstates Cooper back into the FBI Cooper can pack away those flannel shirts.

Audrey delivers room service to John, but all I keep looking at is that stupid sweater and his pants hiked up over his waist. This has to be the ugliest sweater, ever. I really don’t like this John character at all or his sexual word play. “If you’re gonna bring a hammer, you better bring the nails?”

I can’t see what Audrey sees in John, but maybe he’s the next best thing if she can’t have Cooper. Later, Ben has a chat with Audrey. He is really trying to be good. Ben talks about the Kennedys and Audrey’s ability to be his right hand man. With Johnny in the background, we wonder if Ben ever sits and chats with his son. Ben gives Audrey her first assignment; go to Seattle to meet with environmentalists. John declares his love for Audrey, so why is Ben okay with this?

Donna is tailing her mom, who goes to visit Ben at the lodge. She enlists Audrey’s help. That little peep hole has come in handy for Audrey. This is one way to keep her dad an honest man. I wasn’t surprised to see Ben act so lovingly with Eileen. We’ve all experienced enough soap operas in our lifetime to guess what their connection is, but for now, Audrey and Donna don’t have a clue. Donna is put off when Doc keeps making excuses for Eileen. Donna knows somethings up, especially, when flowers are delivered. Doc did not send them.

Weenie File

James sends Donna a postcard from his adventures. Isn’t this kid supposed to be in school? Mike and Nadine check out of the Great Northern and Donna and Audrey act like this is okey dokey? This storyline makes absolutely no sense. Why isn’t Nadine locked away? Maybe the jail cells aren’t strong enough to keep her locked up

Gordon

Log Lady is at the Double R Diner as Gordon and Cooper enter. Did David Lynch make this guest appearance in hopes of helping with the low ratings? If so, then it sure as hell worked. Gordon hits on Shelly. A miracle has occurred. Shelly has cured Gordon’s hearing, but he can only hear Shelly without the hearing aids. Gordon is in love and I can’t wait to see where this crush takes us.

Annie is the one that lights Cooper’s fire when she correctly identifies a bird for him. Oh my God! Annie actually talks like Cooper. Harry realizes what’s happening. Cooper is in love. I love Cooper. He’s too sweet even if he does tell stupid penguin jokes. While our agents both fall for the Double R staff, Annie recognizes the symbol that was made from Briggs and Log Lady’s tattoos; Owl cave.

Windom

Leo gets to pick three cards and all the queens bear the faces of the young girls known to Cooper. Cooper is the King of Spades. The Queen of Hearts is still blank, but not for long. Whoever wins the Miss Twin Peaks Contest will be the unfortunate Queen of Hearts. Like a bad case of gonorrhea, Gordon is all over the place and even follows Audrey to the library. He tells Audrey that she looks like a queen. Kenneth Welsh is perfect for the part of Windom Earle because he is so talented at portraying his character as unobtrusive, while planning to kill a few young girls.

Spelunking

Andy is hilarious as he practices spelunking in the office. Would you trust Andy in a cave? Spelunking is a dangerous sport and you really need to know what you’re doing. Andy’s clumsiness came in handy in helping our heroes find some mysterious symbols, but the owls are not pleased. They attack after a clue is found; a petroglyph of an owl. Too much coincidence, Cooper thinks so. Windom goes to the cave later in the day. He recognizes the meaning of the petroglyph, but his changing its position causes a cave in.

Annie drops by for a drink at the hotel just as Cooper walks in. Cooper wants to ask Annie about the scars, but she’s not ready. Annie acts like being in the convent was the same as being a hermit. It’s not. I went to twelve years of Catholic School and, let me tell you; those nuns at our high school had to be on top of the latest craze and fads, just to keep us in line. We were tough kids. Tough enough to earn the name Goretti’s Gorillas Unless Annie was a cloistered nun; she was not shut away from the world.

Conclusion

Finally, this episode begins to connect the dots and, if you’ve noticed, I only had two candidates for the Weenie File. The chess pieces are carefully placed, the goal; capture the queen. Annie and Cooper are perfect together because they mirror each other’s pain and innocence. I’m still upset that Audrey and Cooper aren’t together. Audrey falling for John just doesn’t feel right, and especially, after seeing him in that sweater and pants that made him look like Ed Grimley from SNL.

The scene where Ben talks to Audrey is one of the highlights of this episode. Audrey is the son Ben wished he’d had in Johnny. It was good to watch Ben come clean about his past. Ben apologizes for being the worst dad of the year and even brings up his affair with Laura. That one act shows that Ben is changing. Audrey, for such a young girl, knows exactly what a scum bucket her dad is, but she’s wise beyond her years and she forgives him. Let’s hope that Windom doesn’t make good on his card trick.

Because this episode focused on the alien aspect and supernatural goings on the town, this episode felt so right. The story was always about the dark side of man, and the evil entities those Owls represented that made Twin Peaks such a cult favorite. The cave drawings are old, very old. Does this mean that BOB, who we know is connected to the Owls, is an ancient creature, perhaps an alien? I am looking forward to seeing if the remaining episodes can answer some of the questions about the connection with the Air Force’s UFO study, the White Lodge, the Black Lodge, and BOB.

Well it’s that time of the year when all of our favourite shows wind up their respective seasons (or in the case of Lost, it’s the end of the series). Judging by the amount of content on my PVR waiting to be viewed, there’s an abundance of shows wrapping up around this time that I’m actually interested in. Believe me, I’m pretty surprised that I actually care about how Desperate Housewives finishes off its season. I don’’t know how that happened. Or maybe I do. I’ll admit it.  Growing up, the only series that I ever got excited about its final episode of a season was Dallas.

Yes, Dallas.

I really can’t explain it. Ok, that’s not true either. I probably have to blame my mother, who was a huge fan of the saga of the Ewings. I vividly remember us visiting family in Toronto and staying in a hotel, but rushing back to the room to see the memorable sixth season finale when Bobby Ewing died in a car accident. What a moving season finale, one matched only by the seventh season ending which brought Bobby back from the dead. You know, the famous shower scene.

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Pam’s bad dream brought Bobby back from the dead and sent a once powerful prime time soap on its downward spiral.

There have been other season finales that are memorable in my mind. Buffy The Vampire Slayer caped off its fifth season and its final one on the WB before switching to UPN with one of the show’s greatest moments. When, if ever, has the title character of a television show been killed off at the end of an episode? Pure brilliance, full of emotion and heartache.

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Buffy would carry on for two more seasons full of highs and lows, but it would never scale the heights that it did during its fantastic fifth season.

On another bit of a downer, if you enjoyed the rebooted Battlestar Galactica that ruled much of the 2000’s, the cliffhanger ending that split Season 4 in half was surely one of the series most defining moments, since it delivered on the promise the show had made the from the very beginning; that it’s beleaguered survivors would finally find the mythical planet of Earth. Of course, it’s not exactly what they hoped it would be.

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Sure it was a mid-season finale for BSG, but as far as I’m concerned a wait of more than 6 months makes this a finale, and a memorable one at that.

Another favourite finale of mine shouldn’t come as much of a surprise for regular readers. It’s the episode that ended Twin Peaks second and final season. Knowing that the show wasn’t going to be renewed following its ratings challenged sophomore year, I remember being extremely eager to see how the show would finish. Of course, I never could have guessed what I’d receive. At the time I was thoroughly dismayed that David Lynch was ending the series with a total cliffhanger, over the years I’ve come to appreciate the infinite possibilities that the final scene of Twin Peaks leaves you with.

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Those are just a few of my favourites. And who knows. Maybe by the end of this week I’ll add the season finale of V or the series finale of Lost to my list as well. 

Maybe even that episode of Desperate Housewives I have waiting on my PVR. You never know, right?

Filed under: Andy Burns/Andy B, Battlestar Galactica, buffy, Dallas, tv shows, Twin Peaks

On the last episode of “Twin Peaks,” Cooper, Audrey and Gordon fell in love and, Andy went spelunking. What does the Owl Cave have to do with Project Blue Book or with the Black Lodge? The answers might be hidden in the strange petroglyphs at the Owl Cave.

Signs

Cooper and the team return to the cave to find that someone’s been there. Hawk recognizes the shoeprints from the power station; Windom Earle. The real question is why did Cooper and the others leave the cave so soon? Once the lever and the strange symbols were found, why didn’t they set up a few deputies to make sure no one else entered? This kind of goof-up drives me crazy. Windom’s fooling with the lever reveals a larger drawing.

There was something else about this cave stuff that made no sense. Cooper could have taken photos of the petroglyphs, right? So why have Andy copy it onto a blackboard? Andy? That’s like getting the Three Stooges to run Congress… oh wait, maybe they are.

The investigation is a compilation of events. Cooper needs to connect the dots and, since Briggs recognizes the petroglyph from a dream, Cooper asks for his help. Now we’re cooking! Briggs is going to use his military pull to learn what Windom did while working on Project Blue Book. Cooper suddenly has his own vision: a hooded figure, the owl and, fire.

The Next Move

Windom is telling Leo and a biker (Ted Raimi) a bedtime story of mythical places. Not too sure how the biker showed up, but with the promise of never ending beer, he listens to Windom’s chatter about White and Black Lodges. Kenneth Welsh plays his character like a fine tuned flute. I was surprised to learn that Kenneth Welsh among his many works, played opposite Kathy Bates in the 1987 production of Frankie and Johnny. The man is talented and that is why Welsh’s Windom can make us laugh even though he scares the bejeebers out of us.

I have to say that my favorite scenes of Windom are when he’s in costumes. His unique ability to change his appearance several times in one episode would have made Windom Earle a candidate for “Mission: Impossible.”

The clueless biker should have paid more attention to Windom’s stories and he should have questioned Windom’s need for all that papier-mache and plaster. Unfortunately, he doesn’t. Poor Leo knows what’s about to happen.

Puzzle Box

Pete is studying the chessboard while remembering Josie’s attributes. Catherine is sick of hearing Pete’s never ending praises of the woman she despised so she gives Pete the puzzle box to focus on. I laughed out loud with this scene because Pete just rattles on about how it may take years to figure out the puzzle box.

Every Christmas Eve, I give my nine grandchildren puzzle boxes. Now that they’re too old for toys and they abhor my choice of clothing, I’ve settled for gift cards to their favorite haunts. But, I don’t make the gift opening process easy. My grandkids, ages 13 to 27 have to do a scavenger hunt to find the puzzle boxes, then they have to open the puzzle boxes to retrieve their gift cards. Guess what? They actually look forward to doing this every Christmas Eve. There is one little problem. I’ve gone through most of the puzzle catalogs.

Beauty Queen

While Bobby tries to talk Shelly into joining the beauty contest the mayor is trying his best to please his sister-in-law/lover, Lana. She wants to win the contest. He’s one of the judges. She wants to win. Get it? Lana is a bitch. I thought we were rid of Lana. Why is she back? She is definitely ‘Weenie File’ material along with Dick’s wine tasting scene.

Doc, the mayor and Pete are on the judging committee. Ben is adding some class to the wiggle and jiggle of past beauty pageants. Ben wants the theme to be about environmental issues. Donna, Shelly and Bobby are there as well as Lana. Tryouts should be loads of fun, especially with Nadine entering. Someone finally addresses the problem of Nadine’s taste for toddlers. Bobby can’t understand Mike’s interest in fossils until Mike whispers Nadine’s secret formula in his ear. I am so grossed out.

Poems

Cooper asks Annie for lots of donuts and a date. Cooper gets a tingling sensation in his toes and tummy when he talks to the ex-nun/waitress. When Shelly recites the poem that Windom sent her, Cooper’s tingling sensation is forgotten. He recognizes the source.

Cooper and Harry go over the poem pieces that were sent to Shelly, Donna and Audrey. They are all from a poem that Cooper once recited to his lover and Windom’s wife, Caroline. Something is the poem makes Cooper ask for Leo’s police record. Later, Leo’s handwriting is identified as the hand that wrote the three poems.

Conclusion

Harry visits Catherine to help deal with his grief over Josie’s death. He is grasping for straws and hopes that Catherine has some good words for his dead lover. I expected Catherine to be vicious, but she held back a bit. Harry is a good man and I guess Catherine wasn’t in the mood to crush his heart. She asks for Harry’s help in opening the puzzle box, but thanks to Pete’s clumsiness, the box opens to reveal another puzzle; a lunar cycle.

Cooper is in love and he makes his move when he takes Annie for a canoe ride. We’re given a hint that a boy from high school might have been the reason Annie joined the convent life. Cooper traces his finger gently across the scar on her wrist. They are both injured souls who need to learn how to trust again. Our joy with Cooper and Annie’s kiss is soured by the knowledge that Windom is watching.

Cooper isn’t the only one falling head over heels. David Lynch makes his last appearance as Gordon on this episode and he makes Bobby very jealous when he kisses Shelly. Later, John Wheeler and Cooper talk about love. Before either guesses their connection to Audrey, John receives a telegram and leaves the hotel and hopefully the show. I don’t know why he was written into the script in the first place.

Donna

I saved Donna’s reaction to her mom’s rendezvous with Ben for now. She knows there is something fishy going on between Eileen and Ben. Doc’s trying to smooth over the wrinkles is only making it worse. I can identify with Donna’s anger because of my own experience with a cheating parent. Eileen has a secret which involves Ben and possibly Donna. That’s the thing with secrets. They don’t stay secret forever and the backlash can have detrimental effects on all involved.

Like I said, I speak from experience. My mom was cheating on my father and would sometimes take me with her. Don’t ask why? I’ve yet to figure it out. The man’s name was Harry. I would sit with them in the diner booth, choking down my fries and milkshake as my mom laughed and flirted with Harry. I was only nine. My mother told me I was forbidden to mention these meetings to anyone. With that one command, she forced me to become her accomplice in a secret that I was too young to handle. I understand where Donna is coming from. I understand her feelings of betrayal and, when Donna finds out the whole story, she’s going to feel like shit.

Windom has upped the states. He’s left a mysterious box on the gazebo. On the front of the box is a note; “Pull me.” When the box is opened, Cooper is shocked to see that Windom has found another victim to play a Pawn. There is a note. “Next time, it will be someone you know.”

On the last episode of “Twin Peaks,” Love was in the air for both Cooper and Gordon, Donna suspects her mother of cavorting with Ben and, Windom has left a nasty clue. Will the clues from Owl Cave and Windom’s connection to Project Blue Book lead us to the Black Lodge?

Pawns
We pick up in this episode with the sheriff’s department transporting the chess piece into the ambulance. Cooper and Harry talk to the friend of the very dead chess piece. From the friend’s account, Rusty was part of a rock band and while they were in the woods, Bigfoot (Windom in costume?) dropped by with an offer of never-ending beer. Rusty was the only dummy that went with Windom.

Cooper tells Harry that Windom is now playing off the board with his latest move. If you’ve never seen the show before and only know it from reading my recaps, then this is the episode that finally explains why Windom went psychopath on Cooper. Major Briggs, who in the first season was more of a bit player, has moved up in status during the second season of the show. Now, the man with all the answers, Major Briggs has some news about Windom’s connection to the Air Force’s study of UFOs.

When did Windom Earle go from top federal agent to mad hatter? I foolishly thought it had to do with the horrors of the job. It’s not easy being a federal agent and dealing day-to-day with cold-hearted killers and criminals, but this wasn’t what drove Windom mad. The video that Briggs shows Cooper and Harry reveal what happened to Windom when the Air Force’s search for extraterrestrials moved from outer space to the woods surrounding Twin Peaks.

Windom’s ramblings about the Black Lodge, evil entities and, evil for evil’s sake, were probably why Windom was kicked off Project Blue Book. But, the man knew what he was talking about. There is definitely something evil about Twin Peaks and maybe it has to do with aliens… or maybe it’s all about the darkness that grows and feeds on the misdeeds of the town. Horror writer, Stephen King, would understand the evil Windom speaks of. He’s written many a story on that very subject.

After showing the tape to Cooper, Briggs wants to take a walk in the woods. This idea is stupid for two reasons. First, the woods are dangerous and Briggs had already been abducted on that fishing trip with Cooper, so why risk getting abducted again. Second, Windom is able to hear all conversations via the bugged Bonsai tree and, we all know what that means.

While Lucy informs Andy that she’s entering the contest because she needs the money for the baby, Hawk has gathered Windom’s intended targets at the station. Cooper finally warns Shelly, Donna and Audrey that the strange man they’ve all encountered is a dangerous sociopath. The girls will now need to keep everyone aware of their whereabouts at all times. I was surprised that Cooper didn’t assign someone to stay with the girls, or maybe, send all three out of town until Windom was captured. This was a slipup that didn’t go unnoticed by me.

Queens

In this episode, Windom’s deck of ‘Queens’ are all dealing with man issues: Audrey with John, Shelly with Bobby and Donna with Ben. When you think about it, Ben has something to do with all three girls’ man issues. At the Double R, Bobby, who thought he was a big deal working for Ben, was brought down a few notches after Gordon kissed Shelly. Now, Bobby wants to help Shelly with her pageant speech. Bobby pledges his love to Shelly, but what grabs our attention is the strange woman eating her pie. What made her hand begin to shake?

Audrey has fallen for John in a big way, but after Ben tells his daughter that John is leaving. Audrey gets Pete to take her to the airport. Twin Peaks has an airport? Audrey tells John that she’s a virgin. I never expected our little Audrey to become a member of the Mile High Club, but she does even though John’s private jet remains grounded. After John (the dirty dog) flies off to South America, Pete’s hand starts shaking.

While Donna discovers old photos of her parents and Ben together and her birth certificate without a father’s name listed, Ben is chatting with Doc Hayward. Ben hasn’t felt good since he began playing the nice guy/environmentalist. Doc tells Ben to stay away from Eileen, but Ben wants to do the right thing and put the lies to rest. Sometimes, telling the truth can tear a family apart. Is this what Ben wants to do?

Leo

I don’t like the character of Leo but he does love his wife. After seeing Shelly’s face on one of the playing cards, Leo tries to stop Windom. Leo tries to use the zapper on Windom, but Leo, the dumb ass, forgot that he is the one wearing the electrical collar.

Weenie File

We just can’t seem to get rid of needless scenes. Luckily, we were spared more Nadine and Mike stuff, but why is Lana still in this show? Why would we care that Dick was one of the judges or that the mayor wants Lana to wear her special dress with the slit? Unless Windom does us the favor of killing Lana if she did win, we really don’t care about Lana. Lucy also made it to the weenie file after telling Andy that she is still deciding who will win the title of baby daddy. How about choosing someone who will truly love and care for the child.

Catherine’s and Andrew’s finding another puzzle box within the moon phase puzzle box and Andy’s expert advice on conservation kept these two scenes from making the weenie file this week. Does the puzzle box have any connection to the drawings in Owl Cave and if it does, how did Eckhardt get hold of it?

Conclusion

Our little Cooper is definitely in love, but as he looks out the window, his hand begins to shake making him the third person to exhibit this strange phenomenon. What does it all mean? Cooper and Annie are in love and we want that kiss to last forever, right? It was neat how the camera zoomed in on the dripping syrup when Annie and Cooper accidentally knocked over some dishes. The actress who plays Annie, Heather Graham, is so good at making me forget that I always wanted Audrey to be Cooper’s girlfriend. I guess Heather’s Annie is more suited for our knight is armor.

Was the dripping syrup a “Twin Peaks” way of a warning? Later, at the Pre-Miss Twin Peaks Pageant Dance, Cooper teaches a nervous Annie how to dance. I don’t know about you, but any man who considers dancing as a walking embrace, is a KEEPER in my book. Annie tells Cooper that’s she thinking of entering the pageant.

Briggs meets Mr. Ed when Windom, dressed in a horse costume, tranquilizes him. It was unnerving seeing Briggs tied to that bullseye. With the help of some truth serum, Windom finally connects the dots. While Briggs and Leo suffer a drug overdose, Windom realizes that the drawings in the cave are a map to the Black Lodge.

While Cooper has another vision of the giant frantically waving his arms and mouthing the words, “NO” to Annie’s mention of the pageant, something evil is making its appearance in the woods. As light shines down on a puddle of black liquid, a shaking hand emerges into the light. It is the hand of BOB, the incarnate of evil. BOB is back and so is the Black Lodge.

Unfortunately, by the time BOB makes his appearance in the woods and Windom discovers the map, “Twin Peaks” has lost most of its first year’s viewers. The show has gone from a whopping 34 million viewers to a measly 7 million and it’s looking like no chess move will save this series.

People are dropping like chess pieces. Is this really a good time to have a beauty pageant? On the last episode of “Twin Peaks,” Windom figured out that the cave drawings were a map. Windom now knows the location of the Black Lodge, but he needs an outfit for the Miss Twin Peaks Pageant. What will his disguise be this time?

Bonsai

Leo helps Briggs escape with one request, ‘Save Shelly.’ Why Leo didn’t undo his own chains, we’ll never know, but there was enough decency left inside him to want to save the wife he so brutally mistreated while married to her. What was with the white paint on Windom’s face, or the black teeth? The only answer I could come up with is it made him look scarier. Windom is getting nastier that’s for sure. His punishment for Leo is a basket full of tarantulas and the only thing keeping them from a free fall onto Leo’s face is the string between Leo’s teeth.

While the devious Windom eavesdrops via plant, Cooper tells Harry about his vision of BOB the night that Josie died. Cooper is certain that Josie’s fear killed her and that BOB was not only drawn to her fear, but actually fed on it. Is fear the key to opening the door to the Black Lodge? What is the importance of the Queen in chess? If you capture a queen, the king’s position is weakened. On this episode, Andy actually saves the day twice. He figures out the meaning of the cave drawings which helps Cooper locate the Black Lodge and, he accidentally knocks over the bonsai plant to reveal Windom’s bugging device.

There is an important theory to ponder on Cooper’s recollection of Josie’s death. Was Bob drawn to Josie’s fear? What brought him to that hotel room that night? It is thought in spiritual and psychic circles that evil is drawn to the light. It wants to conquer the light. While Josie was far from innocent, she was alive and had an aura. Her fear was food for BOB who, in my opinion, is a psychic vampire. The psychic vampire can be a living or dead person and, in BOB’s case, a demon. Although they skimmed over BOB’s powers on the show, BOB lived by literally sucking the life from his victims. I wrote about this type of negative energy here.

Windom’s using tarantulas as a method to kill Leo was an insult to our eight-legged friends. Although the tarantulas’ venom is strong enough to stun their natural foods: insects, lizards, mice, birds and even snakes, they are relatively harmless to humans. If Leo just remains calm, even if that string slips from his teeth, the tarantulas are more likely to be hurt from their free fall than Leo is from their bite. He does have to worry about their hairy bodies.

Audrey

Ben is searching for guidance in all the world’s religious books to help him be a good man. It’s easy, dude! Do unto others! Ben is growing up and he is now giving the respect that Audrey deserves. I’m really enjoying this new respect that Ben has for his daughter. I’m sure Ben had always suspected his daughter was a smart cookie, but now that he’s not running a bordello, he has time to see just how smart she is.

Audrey tells him the latest scoop on Catherine Martell’s plans for Ghostwood Estates and that Catherine has a bank in her pocket. Ben plans to use bad publicity to sabotage that deal. Audrey, bless her heart does not want to take part in the Miss Peaks Talent Show, but Ben forces the issue.

Chorus Line to Hell

Here is where I go on a rant, so please humor me on this. Audrey did not want to do the pageant, but good ole dad pushes the issue because he wants her to make a speech about the environment. Rumor has it that Sherilyn Fenn thought the whole pageant idea was complete foolishness and really wanted no part of it. I always loved the Audrey character because the woman playing the part was a smart cookie. She’s not only smart, but she has class. She’ll give the speech, but she’s not doing the talent dance off.

If you watch this episode closely you’ll pick up on blaring clues to the sense of loss in these scenes, like Norma’s, Annie’s and Shelly’s conversation at the Double R. These girls are still recovering from Laura’s death. Laura was a victim of incest and murder at the hands of her father. Norma and Shelly are married to abusive men. Norma is right about the town needing to heal, but the pageant where the contestants are made to wear plastic see-through raincoats, is a hideous reminder of how poor Laura was discovered.

I’m left thinking why the focus is always on beauty and not on beauty with brains. Audrey’s speech on the environment and Annie’s on the trees was a step in the right direction. The only saving grace about the whole Miss Twin Peaks debacle was Lucy’s dancing. She was actually pretty good and much better than Lana, who is like a bad toothache that just gets worse. Donna tracks down Ben during the contest to ask him a very important question.

Cooper in Love

Finally, Cooper is allowed to get his sexy on! Although I had wanted Audrey and Cooper to become a couple, the writers thought differently. Annie isn’t that much older than Audrey, but there was something about her that drew Cooper to her like a politician to a lobbyist.

Her request for help with her speech about trees morphed into a demonstration of the birds and bees. Cooper with all his oddities is still a very handsome man and, in this episode, very romantic.

Weenie File

Did you really think we were free of the Weenie File? Never! Nadine has the honor for this episode along with Lana. What a big waste of time. Mike is still in high school. Where the hell are his parents? Why is Lana in this episode? Curse you, Andy Burns for making me fall in love with this show with your book, Wrapped in Plastic: Twin Peaks. Only kidding, boss!

The Black Lodge

What is the location of the lodge? And, once you find it how do you open the door. Briggs thinks fear opens the door and the cave drawings are definitely the map. Don S. Davis was a true pleasure to watch this whole second season. He plays his Briggs as an honorable man living in a town with Looney Tunes. The most important clues this season have come from him.

Andrew, Catherine and Pete try to open the last puzzle box. Nothing is working until Andrew uses bullets. What’s inside? What does this key open? Catherine keeps the key in plain sight: the cake saver, because…? What makes her think the key is safe in there?

Conclusion

Ben is in a pickle. He has two daughters, but he can only acknowledge one. Donna is a child out of wedlock and from an affair he had with Eileen. The cat is finally out of the bag, for Donna. We fans had already connected the dots several episodes back. What can I say? Life for the women of Twin Peaks is not easy… except if you’re Lucy. I think Lucy made the right choice for her baby. She picked Andy over Dick. Andy is definitely missing a few days of the week, but he is loyal and lovable.

Windom outdid himself with his latest disguise. Not only was he dressed as the Log Lady, but he had his own log, which he used to knock out Bobby. When Annie wins the contest, you see that uneasy look on Cooper’s face. Was he remembering the warning from the giant? Windom is able to capture the queen using a diversion of smoke bombs, explosions and eliminating the only one strong enough to snap him in two; Nadine. She is knocked out by a sandbag. Windom will use Annie’s fear to enter the lodge.

The queen is captured; the king in peril and, the Black Lodge awaits its guests.

Is time travel possible? In the land of reruns and Netflix, time travel is just a short twenty-five years back to a show that was not only the king of cult shows, but a favorite of my friend, Andy Burns. I had never watched the “Twin Peaks” series created by David Lynch and Mark Frost when it originally aired and, I probably would have gone through life never seeing the show if it weren’t for Andy Burns’ book.

Andy Burns was all of thirteen years old when the show premiered, but it changed the way he looked at television and maybe life itself. A work of love, Andy Burns wrote Wrapped in Plastic: Twin Peaks as a tribute to the show’s creators and to the show’s cast. The pilot and first season focused on who killed the beautiful teenager, Laura Palmer. American audiences tuned in each week to watch the handsome Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan), with his strange Tibetan beliefs and childlike ways, track down the killer.

Agent Cooper was a knight in shining armor and he captured my heart as I read Andy’s book. When Andy asked me if I would like to watch and then do reviews on the 29 episodes, my reply was, “Hell yes!” What fun I had as I watched the collection of strange and memorable individuals jump to life on Netflix. I had my favorites as I’m sure everyone did. I loved Audrey the most because she was smart, daring and beautiful, but there were others that I held close to my heart as I reviewed each episode.

Watching “Twin Peaks” was like living with my family. My family was anything but normal. Maybe it’s why I loved and understood this series. The show had its share of wackos, like Log Lady, Deputy Andy and Nadine, but not everyone on “Twin Peaks” was funny. BOB wasn’t funny and neither was Laura’s killer, an incestuous parent who loved to dance, Leland Palmer. I could have watched several episodes at one time, but I wanted to slowly savor the show, sipping small amounts as you would a fine wine. I made a wise choice and, I have finally reached the last episode. I feel unsettled and sad. I was never good at goodbyes.

Beyond Life and Death

This episode was written by Mark Frost, Harley Peyton and Robert Engels, but rumor has it that David Lynch was mainly responsible for this last episode. On the previous episode of “Twin Peaks,” Annie was kidnapped by Windom Earle. We open with Andy trying to console a frightened Lucy. Who is afraid the lights might go out when she’s ready to give birth.

While the loveable, dumb, Deputy Andy promises to keep Lucy and the baby safe, Cooper, Harry and Hawk study the cave drawing when Pete tells them that the Log Lady stole his truck. Cooper tells Pete it wasn’t the Log Lady. The Log Lady shows up with a bottle of scorched engine oil that comes from a gateway in the woods. Ronette Pulaski remembers the smell of oil the night Laura was murdered.

Cooper and Harry need to search for twelve sycamore trees at Glastonbury Grove. Off they go to Ghostwood Forest to find the gateway. It is believed among people who deal with the spirit world, as I do, that gateways are not only portals to the world of the dead, but to other dimensions or universes. Cooper is not properly prepared to enter one of these gateways as we are soon to find out.

Windom

With twelve rainbow trout in the cooler of the truck, Windom has Annie reciting every prayer she’d ever learned at the convent, but it won’t help her now. It’s Annie’s fear that opens the gateway. Windom and Annie, now in a trance, enter the red curtains that magically appear in the forest.

Weenie File

I think I’ll miss the Weenie Files the most because they were used as a switch and bait all along to throw us off the straight and narrow road. Lynch has a diabolical mind and even in this last episode, he distracts us with Nadine’s recovered memory where she realizes that both her husband and her beloved drape runners are gone.

We also peek in at the Hayward home as Ben tries to persuade Donna into not leaving town. Doc Hayward finally grows a pair and punches Ben. We are left to wonder if Ben is unconscious or dead. Ben’s wife Sylvia makes her appearance in this episode, but it’s too late. We never learned anything about Ben’s wife to make us care about her. David Lynch had a gold mine in this character and he failed to mine it.

Andrew and Pete take the key and head to the Twin Peaks’ bank where Audrey happens to be handcuffed to the gate of the vault in an act of protest. In the confusion, the bank guard runs in to tell everyone that someone had a baby boy. Was it Lucy’s? Even here, Lynch uses the switch and bait routine. Making us focus on the bumbling bank manager, Lynch plunges a dagger to the heart when Pete, Andrew, and Audrey are killed by the bomb inside the security box. They say the revenge is best served cold, but Audrey was my favorite character and I was not prepared for her death.

Conclusion

“Twin Peaks” consisted of two seasons, twenty-nine episodes in total, not counting the film Fire Walk with Me. From the very first page of Andy’s book and, the very first episode I had watched on Netflix, I was invested in what had happened to Laura Palmer. Somewhere in my subconscious I always knew that the “Twin Peaks” series always centered around one thing; the battle between good and evil.

Lynch and Frost pulled back the red curtain to reveal: a knight in shining armor, Agent Dale Cooper; a monster named BOB, who often hid inside a mirror; a town with dark secrets. Everything else was an illusion. Everything!

Cooper leaves Harry behind after finding Pete’s truck in the woods. I think Cooper had always suspected that the Black Lodge was a one way trip. Harry watches Cooper walk around the oil puddle and the sycamore trees, then Cooper steps through the red curtains and is gone. Harry, always the loyal lawman, waits for the return of his friend.

We are introduced to some old friends like The Man from Another Place, who tells Cooper, “When you see me again, it won’t be me.” Laura is there to tell Cooper that she’ll see him again in twenty-five years. Even the old bellhop is there to offer Cooper a cup of coffee that isn’t what it seems. The giant is there, but this time, there are no words of advice. It’s all very strange, especially, when Cooper leaves the room he is in. Every room is the same, but one room holds Maddy who warns Cooper. “Watch out for my cousin.” The little man gives another clue, doppelganger. It is at this moment that I really understand what is in store for our hero.

The rest of the episode has Cooper frantically searching for Annie only to stumble upon Laura who is screaming like a banshee, then later Caroline, then finally Windom. Annie will live if Cooper gives Windom his soul. Without a thought for his own life, Cooper agrees. I think Briggs knew how dangerous the Black Lodge was. The look of defeat is clearly written on his face when Sarah Palmer, speaking in Windom’s voice, tells him where Cooper is. Unfortunately for Windom, he was so focused on destroying Cooper that he didn’t notice that he’d broken the rules. BOB makes it quite clear to Windom that he did. Doppelganger is such a scary word when you understand the truth of what it means.

Harry finds the unconscious Cooper and Annie in the forest. Cooper is taken to the hotel while Annie is taken to the hospital. Harry and Doc Hayward are with Cooper when he awakes. But is it really Cooper who wants to brush his teeth… or something else. Cooper, the essence of good, is held prisoner somewhere inside the Black Lodge while the man repeating over and over, “How’s Annie,” is his doppelganger. Bob smiles on approvingly from the mirror as Harry and Doc pound on the door.

There are plans for Showtime to bring back Twin Peaks in 2016. If this show does return, I would like to do the weekly reviews for it. I feel invested in the characters and, I want to know what happened to them. Maybe, Audrey survives the explosion. I understand why Andy Burns loved this show so much and, why he felt compelled to write a book about “Twin Peaks.” There was magic in the town of Twin Peaks. There still is. Andy Burns and I, and maybe, whoever is reading this post, will forever be its captive audience. See you next week with my review of Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me.

Rest In Peace

One of my favorite characters on “Twin Peaks” has been the Log Lady played deliciously by Catherine E. Coulson. Did I think it strange that she talked to a log, or that her log knew all the dirty secrets of Twin Peaks? Hell no! The Log Lady would have fit in so easily with my wacky family, and that’s why I so enjoyed the scenes she was in.

I’m sure we were all excited to hear that Coulson was to reprise her role on the newer Showtime version of “Twin Peaks.” Unfortunately, “Twin Peaks” will have to continue without the Log Lady. Catherine E. Coulson died Monday morning, September 28, 2015. She was seventy-one years old. You will be missed, dear Catherine.

The entire time I was watching and reviewing the two seasons of television’s hit cult series, “Twin Peaks” for Biff Bam Pop!, I was anxiously marking the time until I could view Lynch’s 1992 film Fire Walk with Me, the prequel to the television series. Having already been hooked on the series because of Andy Burns‘ book, Wrapped in Plastic: Twin Peaks, I accidently pulled up a link that featured the deleted scenes from the film. It was an accident that helped me understand the film much better because it confirmed what I’ve always believed “Twin Peaks” was really about: the battle between good and evil. In this film, we have become silent witnesses to what happened to Laura on the last week of her life. Laura was a blonde, blue-eyed angel with a dark secret. We get a chance to walk in Laura’s shoes in this film. It is a terrifying walk.

Teresa Banks

Because Kyle MacLachlan originally turned down the chance to play Agent Cooper in the film, Lynch used two other actors, Chris Isaak as Agent Chester Desmond and Kiefer Sutherland as Agent Sam Stanley to investigate the murder of Teresa Banks (Pamela Gidley).

When Desmond meets Chief Gordon and Stanley at the airport, they get some clues from Gordon’s crazy niece who is wearing a red dress and dancing. Desmond knows what all the clues signify, but refuses to explain the blue rose pinned to Lil’s dress to Sam. It’s stupid stuff like this that writer/director David Lynch uses to distract us from what is really going on. Teresa Banks is an important part of the mystery of Laura’s death.

Desmond and Stanley examine the body of Teresa Banks. This girl was brutally murdered, wrapped in plastic and placed in the river. Sound familiar? This is how Laura will die. Is it the same killer? Desmond and Stanley notice that Teresa’s ring is missing and a slip of paper with the letter “T” has been placed under her fingernail. Desmond is determined to locate the ring he saw Teresa wearing in a photo, but in finding it, he disappears.

Agent Cooper

We learn that Cooper’s dreams of the Black Lodge began way before he arrived in Twin Peaks. Before seeing Laura’s body in that morgue, Cooper had already dreamed of the Man from another place and BOB. He already knew about the ring from his dream. From the very beginning, Cooper’s destiny was tied to Laura’s. Why Cooper and Laura? What was the connection?

Agent Desmond wasn’t the only agent to disappear. Apparently, another agent, Phillip Jeffries (David Bowie) was also missing. Was Jeffries a prisoner of the Black Lodge like in Cooper’s dream? Jeffries disappears before Gordon, Cooper and Albert can make sense of his babbling. When Cooper investigates the trailer park where Desmond vanished, he finds a message on Desmond’s abandoned car, “Let’s Rock.”

Laura

I know that the film wasn’t received well when it premiered and, I know that David Lynch had full control of the scenes and that Mark Frost wasn’t as involved. It shows. I’ll explain my comment during the conclusion. Right now, the only thing I want to concentrate on is what Lynch got right. In this film, Lynch revealed a horrid secret by pulling the scab back and showing the pus that oozed beneath.

Laura may have been a knockout beauty, homecoming queen and the most popular girl in her high school, but she was still a child. A child who was mentally, physically and emotionally damaged by the very person whose job it was to protect her. Did you ever wonder why Laura was so promiscuous or why she did drugs? We were given many hints about her wild ways in the two seasons of the series, but did you really understand why?

Laura had been systematically raped by her father, Leland, ever since she was twelve year old. Leland may have been the dancing fool in seasons one and two, but there was nothing dashing about a man who would drug his wife in order to rape his daughter without interference. This was horrible enough without her also having to deal with the monster, BOB, who had possessed Leland when he was a child.

Young girls that have been sexually abused over long periods of time by a trusted family member often try to protect their fragile sanity from the abuse they’re been enduring in many ways: drugs, alcohol, or sleeping with as many men as they can to prove that they have some worth as a person. The damage is permanent unless the abused is able to get the proper help, but in Laura’s case, she was going to that loser Dr. Jacoby, who in my mind was another predator who fed on a young girl’s fear.

The only true friend that Laura had, besides Harold Smith who suffered from his own demons, was Donna Hayward. In the film, Donna is played by actress Moira Kelly. I really enjoyed this actress’s portrayal of Donna much better than I did with the series Donna which was played by Lara Flynn Boyle. Moira Kelly was more convincing as the loyal friend to Laura. That is my opinion and I am sticking with it.

Laura had other female friends who were part of her dark secret life. We get to meet Teresa Banks and Ronette Pulaski (Phoebe Augustine), the same actress from the series. Teresa was one of Leland’s secrete rendezvous, but Leland gets the shock of his life when he suggests a threesome and learns that Laura is part of the deal. He runs off, but Teresa gets the idea to blackmail him, which as we all know, brings about her death at the hands of Leland.

The film shows Laura’s relationship to her boyfriends; Bobby and James, but neither really understands her. Donna is the only one who stands by Laura even when it’s detrimental to her well being. Donna was willing to follow Laura into the bowels of hell, better known as the Roadhouse, but Laura saves her friend when she sees Donna naked and being mauled by one of the trucker friends of Jacques Renault.

Conclusion

There was a picture in Donna’s room that featured an angel watching over two very young children. This picture, that angel was her lifeline to keeping her sanity. Laura’s life was a nightmare that she was unable to escape; her father and BOB were one and the same. The dinner scene, where Leland goes berserk when he sees the necklace around his daughter’s neck, is very telling of how evil Leland is on his own. You can’t blame BOB for everything this man did. Leland knows that Laura is having sex with other men. He wants her for himself.

Sarah, thinking that she is losing her mind from all the lapse memories due to her being drugged, tries to protect her daughter. She failed miserably. Did she suspect what was going on? If she did, why didn’t she take her daughter away? I would have shot the bastard if I even suspected he was abusing my child. Sarah did nothing and this made her an accomplice.

Many of the series stars were missing from the film. That was okay because the film was all about Laura, but if you want to see the deleted scenes, you can find them on YouTube. The one cast member that I was happy to see again was the Log Lady. I watched the film a few days after Catherine E. Coulson passed away on September 28, 2015. The Log Lady in the film tried to protect Laura.

I would have enjoyed the film more so if it wasn’t filled with all the psychedelic crazy scenes that took away from the real story. We didn’t need the nonsensical visits to the Black Lodge to be shocked. What Leland was doing to his daughter was shocking enough. Leland was a killer, a predator who thought nothing of killing Teresa or Laura. I think BOB was able to possess Leland because Leland was already a sociopath as a child. I wonder how the film would have been received if Mark Frost had worked side by side with Lynch on each and every scene. I think it may have done better with the fans if this happened.

Cooper and Laura

In one of Laura’s visions, Annie appears on her bed to tell her that the good Cooper is trapped inside the Black Lodge. We know from the final episode of the series that Cooper willingly entered the Black Lodge to save Annie, but Cooper and Laura were much more connected. They shared the same visions of the ring, BOB, the Black Lodge.

Cooper was the knight in that chess game with Windom Earle. Laura was the queen that Cooper needed to protect from BOB. The story of “Twin Peaks,” the series and the film, Fire Walk with Me, was about one thing only; the battle between good and evil. An angel saved Ronette when she prayed for her life to be spared. An angel finally arrived at the Black Lodge to save Laura’s soul. Will the good Cooper ever escape the Black Lodge? I’d like to think he does and, maybe he will when the series returns on Showtime. What do you think?

We can’t watch everything, right? I mean, who has the time to watch every single show that you think you might like on the tube? Not me, and I bet not you either. What that means is that the best of us often miss out on tv that we could very well be loving.

That’s how it went with me and Durham County, the critically acclaimed Canadian television program set north of Toronto starring Hugh Dillon as Mike Sweeney, a big city homicide cop who’s relocated to the ‘burbs, and Justin Louis as Ray Prager, his not so good new neighbour. The show’s first 6 episode season aired over a year ago on The Movie Network and recently made its way onto free tv, but I kept missing my chance to catch the show. As fate would have it, last night I was flipping channels and landed on Showcase, which was showing the first episode of Durham County. I felt like I’d lucked out, and sat back to watch. How would I sum it up? One word:

Wow.

The premier episode of Durham County has got to be one of the best hours of television I’ve seen in years. Both Hugh Dillon and Justin Louis give spectacular performances; Dillon’s character is a slow burn. He’s a good man with a temper, coping with the death of his partner, a wife battling cancer, a rebellious teenage daughter, and a secret he’s keeping from his family. I haven’t seen much of Dillon the actor (I’m more familiar with him as the frontman for Canada’s legendary band, the Headstones), but unlike most rock stars turned actors, he’s actually great in his new role. His ability to play subdued is all the more commendable when it comes time for him to let loose.

Meanwhile, there’s no doubting that Justin Louis’ Ray Prager is a bastard, a horrible husband and father that has clearly cracked. I can’t remember the last television character that was so clearly evil as Prager. There’s no subtle smile or Lecter charm to him; Louis plays him straight, which makes the performance that much more disturbing. There were at least two instances where Prager’s actions actually caused me to gasp outloud, and believe me when I say I can’t remember the last time I did that while watching a tv show.

In looking at some of the comments regarding Durham County, comparison’s to David Lynch’s Twin Peaks often come up. For once, they’re completely warranted. Like the trees, wildlife, and train tracks that were as much a character on that show, the power lines of Durham County cast their own shadow throughout the premier episode. In some ways, the quick shots of them act as transitions between scenes, but they also give off a real sense of foreboding. That something in the sleepy suburbs isn’t quite right. I think that every time I have to go to one.

I have no idea where Durham County is going to with its remaining episodes. I’m sure I could find out easily enough since I missed it during its first go around, but I’m not going to. I’m going to wait until next week to see what happens, because I want to discover the show’s secrets on the screen, as I’m supposed to. But really, I can’t recommend Durham County enough. This is dark stuff that’s well worth your time. If you missed it the first time around, and I bet many people did, you can catch it again Wednesday nights at 8pm on Showcase. It’s also available in Canada on DVD.

WARNING: HERE THERE BE SPOILERS!

“Lost” has come a long way in four years.

What started as a show about a group of plane-crash survivors living on a funky island in the South Pacific has turned into a time-hopping pseudo-sf series about fate vs. free will, with a smoke monster and some polar bears thrown in for good measure.

Part of the show’s initial charm was its storytelling technique of featuring character flashbacks throughout each episode. At the end of the third season, the writers turned this concept on its head by introducing “flashforwards” — glimpses into the future where six of the Losties have escaped the island. That’s right, the show that defined itself as “Gilligan’s Island” meets “Twin Peaks” actually moved the story off the island. Okay, only part of it, but it’s a pretty big part. Not everyone left the island, but to confuse things up for the left-behinders, the island is now skipping through time like a needle hopping across a screwy record. Lost yet?

So it begs the question: Is “Lost” still “Lost” if part of the story is set off the island?

I say yes. Why? Because even though the show is set on an island, that’s not what it’s really about. If it was, the producers would have called the show “The Island.” They called it “Lost” because not only are the characters lost on a mysterious island, they’re also lost in their lives. Deep, eh? But it’s true. Jack the spinal surgeon seems like a rock, until you put him in a leadership role or ask him about his daddy. Kate? Please. That girl runs away so fast from her problems she could compete in the Olympics. Sawyer? He took the name of a con man responsible for the death of his parents and ended up becoming a con man himself. Yeah, he’s clearly got it together.

Same goes for the rest of the Losties. They were lost long before they hopped onto Oceanic 815. And even though Jack, Kate, Sayid, Sun, Hurley and Aaron managed to leave the island, they are all still lost. They may have gotten fat settlements from Oceanic, and they may be bigger celebrities now than Brangelina, but none of them are happy in their respective lives. Sun wants revenge for the death of her husband. Kate, the born runner, is forced to stay put and raise a child that isn’t her own. Hurley, unable to live with the lie they’re forced to live, puts himself back in the psych ward. Sayid finds his lost love, Nadia, loses her, and allows himself to be recruited as an assassin for Ben. And Jack, the one who wanted to leave the island more than anyone, becomes an alcoholic and a drug addict who wants nothing more than to go back (“We have to go BAAACK!”). Leaving the island was clearly a smart move for all involved.

I haven’t even mentioned the other people who left the island. Michael? Dead. Walt? Left fatherless — and he doesn’t even know it yet! Desmond? Living on the run (sure, he’s got Penny and Charlie, but it’s not exactly a stable life with Ben and Widmore hunting them).

The show may have moved back to civilization, but the island hasn’t relinquished its hold on those who left. Jack, Michael, Desmond and the rest can take off to Los Angeles or New York or Edinburgh, but the island remains a powerful presence in their lives. They might think they’ve found happiness, but they’re still lost, and the island is there to remind them of that fact.

They’ve still got work to do.

Check out Ian’s home on the web, ian-rogers.com, here.

Thursday April 8th marks the 20th anniversary of the debut of Twin Peaks, one of the most influential and memorable programs in the history of television. Over the next two days Biff Bam Pop writers share their memories of the show. We begin with JP:

I missed David Lynch and Mark Frost’s Twin Peaks the first time it aired but caught it, appropriately I suppose, on its second run.

Of course, I had been aware of the series when it premiered – it was the darling of television critics everywhere and I read my TV Guide as thoroughly as the Entertainment section of the Toronto Star but for one reason or another, the pilot eluded me and I didn’t want to start my “detective work” on the show in the middle of the following seven episodes. So I waited, caught it on repeat and then dove headfirst into season two, transfixed by the strangely meandering soap opera-like story of unsolved small town murder, the surreal yet transfixing cast of characters, the sultry female actors, the haunting musical score and, of course, the amazing Kyle Maclachlan as the now mythical Agent Cooper.

Twin Peaks is a series that will stay with me forever – not because of the story. No, to be honest, I found the series too perplexing and impenetrable for that aspect of the show to be deemed classic. In fact, I found the second season to be so much filler to what the story was supposed to be about. Twin Peaks will stay with me for the timeless imagery it served up to my young eyes: sometimes pleasing, sometimes horrifying, sometimes bizarre – but always fascinating.

There are four specific images from the series’ two “seasons” of broadcast that are imbedded within my consciousness. The first two typify both the sublime and the ridiculous nature of the series: how could I ever forget the beautiful visage of Madchen Amick serving cherry pie at the Double R dinner? Yeah, I fell in love at that greasy spoon every time she was onscreen. And then there was the strange dwarf, the Man From Another Place, as he was called, dressed in a 1930’s leisure suit, walking and talking backwards in a mysterious lounge decorated with sweeping red velvet curtains, illuminated only by the light of a strobe. Disturbingly whacky.

But there was also another side to the show. A dark side.

The other two images that haunted me in the early nineties, just as they do now, revealed the antagonist, Bob, a tall, thin drifter with long and wiry gray hair and maniacal eyes, malevolently leaping over a couch and coming straight for me, the viewer! And in the final episode, heroic Agent Cooper, not immune from the wickedness he’s investigated for so long, slamming his head against a washroom mirror, revealing a broken reflection of the evil Bob, as he incessantly asks “How’s Annie?”

Those kind of primordial images entrench themselves within you, stay with you, both in the conscious and the subconscious. So powerful were they that they have also informed – and continue to inform – my own creative outputs ever since I first witnessed them twenty years ago.

Thursday April 8th marks the 20th anniversary of the debut of Twin Peaks, one of the most influential and memorable programs in the history of television. Over the next two days Biff Bam Pop writers share their memories of the show. Up next is Andy Burns:

Like anyone who watched the show about cherry pie, damn good coffee, and dancing dwarves, Twin Peaks had an indelible effect on my life. It introduced me to the brilliance of David Lynch, and gave me an appreciation of surrealism that continues to this day. I didn’t know what a long tracking shot was in cinema until Lynch utilized it during the pilot episode. Lynch (and co-creator Mark Frost) created strangely compelling characters that lived in a town that seemed so normal on the surface, but who led dark, strange, and haunted lives.

I loved Twin Peaks. Loved it, bought the “I Shot Agent Cooper” t-shirt, and read the book (The Secret Diary Of Laura Palmer, penned by Lynch’s daughter Jennifer). I owned the Angelo Badalamenti soundtrack on cassette and went to my first movie all by myself when Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me was released in August 1992. Heck, I even bought the new video game Deadly Premonitions, which had been in development hell for three years, after trailers for the game under its original name Rainy Woods showed it to be a blatant Twin Peaks homage (ripoff, depending on your point of view). I see it in the trailers for the new tv show Happy Town, set to debut on ABC later this month, the same network that first broadcast Twin Peaks twenty years ago.

I remember when the HBO series Carnivale debut a few years back and Michael J. Anderson, the Man From Another Place on Twin Peaks, was on a promo tour, visiting the radio station where I worked. Upon expressing my love of Twin Peaks, Anderson recited a poem that any fan would have loved to have heard whispered in their ears:

Thru the darkness of Future Past the magician longs to see/one chants out between two worlds/ Fire – walk with me.

Every six months or so I have a Twin Peaks nightmare. I wake up in a cold sweat after seeing the leering face of BOB rushing towards me, just like Agent Cooper did in the series finale, one of the greatest and most unique hours of television ever produced. I carry Twin Peaks with me wherever I go. While I had a seven season love affair with Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Twin Peaks is and likely always will be my most beloved television show.

While I’ll never understand why ABC moved the show from its Thursday night time slot during its first season to Saturday nights for its second, that move wound up giving me the final memory of the show I’ll leave you with. On Saturday November 10th, 1990, Twin Peaks was going to reveal who killed Laura Palmer. I was visiting my Dad that weekend and my ten- year-old sister wanted to stay up to watch the show with me. My step-mom was a little hesitant, but I told her it would be ok for my sister to watch the show.

“It’s weird, but not scary,” I reassured her.

Boy, was I wrong. At the end of that hour of television I didn’t want to go upstairs, I was so scared. I know my sister didn’t slept right for months. Just how scary was it? Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails once called the scene “the scariest, most violent thing (he’d) ever seen on television.” See for yourself if you’d like, but if you watch the scene below make no mistake, you will know who killed Laura Palmer. There will be no going back. You’ve been warned.

Showing THAT to a ten year old? Yeah, bad call on my part. I guess I pay for it every six months or so, when BOB haunts my dreams.

Today marks the 20th anniversary of the debut of Twin Peaks, one of the most influential and memorable programs in the history of television. Over the next two days Biff Bam Pop writers share their memories of the show. Up next is Ian Rogers:

On this day twenty years ago David Lynch and Mark Frost introduced us to a logging town in the Pacific Northwest called Twin Peaks. It was the kind of small town that generally goes unnoticed in America. But Twin Peaks was special, and it was catapulted into television history on the wave of a single question: “Who killed Laura Palmer?”

We had a pool going at my high school on who killed Twin Peaks’ homecoming queen. I had put my money on Benjamin Horne… and lost. I don’t think anyone in the pool actually guessed who the killer was. And if you haven’t seen the show yet, go check it out on DVD, because I’m not going to reveal the answer here.

Twin Peaks was a show of unforgettable visuals: the waterfall next to the Great Northern Hotel; that lonely traffic light at Sparkwood and 21; Agent Cooper hanging upside down in his boxer shorts. And who could forget that powerful second season premiere in which we actually see the brutal killing of Laura Palmer. I’m still surprised that one made it past the censors.

And let’s not forget the sounds: wind blowing in the trees; fifties music playing on the Double R Diner’s jukebox; Gordon Cole’s constant yelling (“Coop, today you remind me of a small Mexican Chiwowow!”); and, it goes without saying, Angelo Badalamenti’s haunting score.

Like any show, Twin Peaks was defined by its characters. A quirky ensemble cast that included Sheriff Harry S. Truman, Deputy Hawk, Deputy Andy, Lucy, Big Ed Hurley and his wife Nadine, Donna and James, Maddy Ferguson (Laura Palmer’s cousin, played by the same actress), Audrey Horne, and Gordon Cole (played by Lynch himself). And what about the other, even weirder characters, like the Log Lady, the One-Armed Man, The Man From Another Place (aka, the dancing, backwards-talking dwarf from Cooper’s dream), the Giant who haunted the Great Northern, and, of course, BOB.

The standout performance of the series belongs to Kyle MacLachlan, whose portrayal of FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper is legendary. Who can forget Cooper’s cowlick, his black suits, his boyish enthusiasm for Douglas Firs, cherry pie, and that “damn fine” coffee. Cooper was like a boy scout exploring the underworld, using a combination of Tibetan philosophy and deductive reasoning to uncover Laura Palmer’s killer. And I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Cooper’s unseen sidekick, his trusty pocket recorder, into which he recited all of his quirky observations (“Diane, I hold in my hand a small box of chocolate bunnies…”)

Twin Peaks had a powerful effect on me when it first aired, and it still does today. Last year my wife and I rewatched the entire series on DVD while we were vacationing at a cabin in the woods. This was probably not our brightest idea. Every night, after I turned out the lights, I kept expecting to see BOB’s face leering in through the window.

My own work as a writer has been heavily influenced by Twin Peaks, both in terms of its quirky characters and its mythology of strange and malevolent forces residing in the woods. Few shows balanced horror and humour with as much skill as Twin Peaks. The show embraced both these qualities. Take, for example, the opening scene of the pilot episode in which Pete Martell (played by Jack Nance, a David Lynch regular since “Eraserhead”) discovers the body of Laura Palmer on the shore near his house. “She’s dead,” he tells the police. “Wrapped in plastic.” The phrase would become synonymous with the show (it would also become the title of the Twin Peaks fanzine). A few episodes later the same character ends up coining another phrase after a disastrous incident in which he serves coffee to Agent Cooper and Sheriff Truman. “Don’t drink that coffee!” he warns them. “There was a fish… in the percolator!” Only on a show as bizarre as Twin Peaks could a character who coined one of the most ominous catchphrases in TV history also coin one of the funniest.

Unfortunately the show got too weird for its own good. David Lynch may be a master at creating mysteries both beautiful and terrifying, but he has never gone in for the kind of linear storytelling that is required of network television. Throw in a few subplots that people didn’t care about (James Hurley anyone? Or how about Little Nicky?) and the show’s days were numbered. Leaving a bunch of unanswered questions in its wake, and a theatrical movie that looked backward to the days before Laura’s murder instead of forward to tie up loose plot threads, and the fans were left feeling angry and unsatisfied. Opportunities to resolve the show’s lingering storylines via another movie or a graphic novel have come to nothing, and it seems unlikely that we’ll ever find out what happened to the people in that poor, doomed town.

It’s been twenty years since Twin Peaks first aired. I can still remember seeing that opening sequence for the first time. Those great big trees. The lumber mill. I miss Twin Peaks. The show and the town. It entertained me as a viewer and taught me as a writer. It continues to inspire me today. Every few years I find myself going back and revisiting that creepy little town. That place where you don’t want to go walking in the woods after night, where everyone has a secret, where the owls are not what they seem.

Today marks the 20th anniversary of the debut of Twin Peaks, one of the most influential and memorable programs in the history of television. Over the next two days Biff Bam Pop writers share their memories of the show. We conclude with David Ward:

I remember Twin Peaks fever during the summer of 1990. It was insane – from t-shirts emblazoned with “I killed Laura Palmer” to Kyle McLaughlin hosting Saturday Night Live to books, books, and more books popping up every few books. I even owned The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer, because I, like so many other foolish people, thought I could figure it all out from a book sent out by the makers of the show.

Twin Peaks is a difficult show to describe, and what I find even more difficult to describe is the effect it’s had on me over the past twenty years. A murder mystery? A supernatural horror story? A town with too many questions? What was the appeal? To this day, I find it difficult to either quantify or qualify.

It is scary, though. Amusing, quaint in places, but truly terrifying in others. During some of the reveal scenes in the second season, your eyes widen and hair stands up on the back of your neck. The first season, which gets the ball rolling in terms of the murder mystery and the town’s denizens, also has its moments, but between BOB, MIKE, and the Black Lodge, well, there’s enough there to send you to therapy for years if you’re particularly sensitive.

Perhaps that’s why I find it appealing. I’ve always liked to be scared. Or perhaps it’s the uncanny ability of Lynch and co. to blend character and setting so seamlessly. Twin Peaks, and the land that surrounds it, is infused with darkness and is also a living and breathing entity unto itself (and The Bookhouse Boys are only too aware of this). All of the settings are characters: the woods, the Double-R, the mill, the Great Northern Hotel, the sheriff’s department, the hospital, One Eyed Jack’s, the Bang Bang bar – they’re as real, and as important, as Cooper, Truman, the Palmers, the Haywards, the Log Lady, the Hornes, Big Ed and Nadine, the Renaults, etc. Land and person sit on equal footing in this show.

And let’s not forget the truly weird shit. I’ve already mentioned BOB, MIKE, and the Black Lodge, but there’s also The Man from Another Place (a.k.a., The Arm), the Giant, the White Lodge, and the surreal dreams. The supernatural in this show, or at least the perception of the supernatural, is some of the most original stuff I have ever seen, and I still stand by this. These aren’t classic monsters; they’re physical manifestations of the darkness in us and in the land that surrounds us. They’re also us. They’re really unnerving, from the moment we first see BOB on-screen, to the show’s very last scene. Lynch has used this before and since – in the face of absolute personal horror, the monstrous manifests in either physical or dream-like form. Are they real? It’s strange to say, but I hope so. I’d rather it be monster than man.

Oh, and lastly I wanted to mention the horse. Still don’t get the horse.

Well it’s that time of the year when all of our favourite shows wind up their respective seasons (or in the case of Lost, it’s the end of the series). Judging by the amount of content on my PVR waiting to be viewed, there’s an abundance of shows wrapping up around this time that I’m actually interested in. Believe me, I’m pretty surprised that I actually care about how Desperate Housewives finishes off its season. I don’’t know how that happened. Or maybe I do. I’ll admit it.  Growing up, the only series that I ever got excited about its final episode of a season was Dallas.

Yes, Dallas.

I really can’t explain it. Ok, that’s not true either. I probably have to blame my mother, who was a huge fan of the saga of the Ewings. I vividly remember us visiting family in Toronto and staying in a hotel, but rushing back to the room to see the memorable sixth season finale when Bobby Ewing died in a car accident. What a moving season finale, one matched only by the seventh season ending which brought Bobby back from the dead. You know, the famous shower scene.

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Pam’s bad dream brought Bobby back from the dead and sent a once powerful prime time soap on its downward spiral.

There have been other season finales that are memorable in my mind. Buffy The Vampire Slayer caped off its fifth season and its final one on the WB before switching to UPN with one of the show’s greatest moments. When, if ever, has the title character of a television show been killed off at the end of an episode? Pure brilliance, full of emotion and heartache.

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Buffy would carry on for two more seasons full of highs and lows, but it would never scale the heights that it did during its fantastic fifth season.

On another bit of a downer, if you enjoyed the rebooted Battlestar Galactica that ruled much of the 2000’s, the cliffhanger ending that split Season 4 in half was surely one of the series most defining moments, since it delivered on the promise the show had made the from the very beginning; that it’s beleaguered survivors would finally find the mythical planet of Earth. Of course, it’s not exactly what they hoped it would be.

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Sure it was a mid-season finale for BSG, but as far as I’m concerned a wait of more than 6 months makes this a finale, and a memorable one at that.

Another favourite finale of mine shouldn’t come as much of a surprise for regular readers. It’s the episode that ended Twin Peaks second and final season. Knowing that the show wasn’t going to be renewed following its ratings challenged sophomore year, I remember being extremely eager to see how the show would finish. Of course, I never could have guessed what I’d receive. At the time I was thoroughly dismayed that David Lynch was ending the series with a total cliffhanger, over the years I’ve come to appreciate the infinite possibilities that the final scene of Twin Peaks leaves you with.

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Those are just a few of my favourites. And who knows. Maybe by the end of this week I’ll add the season finale of V or the series finale of Lost to my list as well. 

Maybe even that episode of Desperate Housewives I have waiting on my PVR. You never know, right?

Filed under: Andy Burns/Andy B, Battlestar Galactica, buffy, Dallas, tv shows, Twin Peaks

Earlier this year the writers of Biff Bam Pop! paid tribute to David Lynch and Mark Frost’s groundbreaking ABC tv series Twin Peaks, which this year celebrated its 20th anniversary. For those of us that watched the series during its initial two season run all those years ago, it’s still hard to believe that so much time has passed since we (along with Pete Martell) discovered Laura Palmer, wrapped in plastic; Agent Dale Cooper, Douglas Fir and coffee enthusiast; the seductive Audrey Horn, who had a way with a cherry stem. Leland Palmer, The Log Lady, Deputy Andy, Bobby Briggs, The Man From Another Place, BOB – all of them have been engrained in my memories since encountering them way back in 1990. And while the series may have done well during its first season, part of the series’ legacy is how spectacularly it crashed and burned during its second and final season, plagued by a horrible timeslot and muddled storytelling. However, those of us that love Twin Peaks love it something fierce.

That’s the case with James Roday, one of the stars of the USA Network’s Psych. It was his love of Twin Peaks that led to “Dual Spires”, last week’s episode of Psych and full-blown tribute to the series. The cast and creators even managed to lure some series alumni to guest star – Ray Wise (Leland Palmer), Dana Ashbrook (Bobby Briggs), Sherilyn Fenn (Audrey Horne), Lenny Van Dohlen (Harold Smith), Robyn Lively (Lana), Catherine Coulson (The Log Lady) and Sheryl Lee (Laura Palmer). According to various interviews, Roday, who plays psychic detective Shawn Spenser on the series, grew up on Twin Peaks, even befriending Dana Ashbrook when the two worked on a series together about ten years ago. It was the unabashed admiration for Twin Peaks that helped bring all of the former cast together again.

The story is simple – Shawn and his partner Gus receive a mysterious email telling them to get to the small town of Dual Spires, population of 288 and home of a Cinnamon Festival. Soon enough, the duo are investigating the murder of a young girl, Paula Merral, whose body is discovered washed up, wrapped in plastic. Thus begins an episode that is more than just a nod and a wink to Twin Peaks. From the very first line about a woman in Washington building silent drape runners, I knew I was in for a treat.

There was so many shout outs to the series, I probably lost count and even missed a few. But there I was sitting next to The Queen, whispering things like “Windham Earle was Coop’s enemy in season 2” or “Maudette Hornsby’s name is pretty close to Audrey Horne” when every little homage revealed itself. I laughed at the score, clearly inspired by the great work of original Twin Peaks composer Angelo Badalamenti and was literally thrilled with the long shot of a ceiling fan and stairs that Shawn and Gus were walking up. If you’re a fan, you totally get it, I’m sure. As someone who really has missed Twin Peaks since it went off the air, this episode of Psyche was like some sort of crazy television crack. While I won’t ruin the story for you or give away the culprit, I will say that the final scene of the show manages to throw in every essential reference that may not have appeared throughout the hour.

While I’d heard of Psych, I’d never watched an episode before this past week. I have to admit, even without the Twin Peaks aspects of the series, I think I could very well enjoy watching it. There’s quite a few pop culture references throughout and the two leads are very appealing. But really, this episode was all about celebrating the magic of a series that inspired those that watched it and countless network shows that have appeared in the last 20 years. If you were ever a fan of Twin Peaks, you must find a way to watch Psych’s “Dual Spires”.

Preferably with a cup of damn good coffee in your hands.

You may not know the name Frances Bay, but you definitely would recognize the actress who passed away in Los Angeles last Thursday at the age of 92. Some may know her from her work in Happy Gilmore or on Happy Days (those are the first two career mentions the L.A. Times cite); others may remember her as the woman Jerry steals a marble rye from in a classic episode of Seinfeld. But for geeks like myself (and likely my Biff Bam Pop pals David Ward and Ian Rogers), Ms. Bay will have a place in my heart for two specific roles.

The first is her appearance as Mrs. Pickman in John Carpenter’s hugely underappreciated 1995 film In The Mouth of Madness, where she plays the owner of a small hotel in the town of Hobb’s End. The second is her role as Mrs. Tremond/Chalfont in David Lynch’s Twin Peaks – acting alongside Lynch’s son Austin, she added a serious creepiness to the series as an inhabitant of the mysterious Black Lodge.

You can check out footage from her more popular appearances below, including her Seinfeld appearance. Rest in peace, Frances Bay.

In the crazy world of Twin Peaks, more than a few of my favourite characters were slightly off their rocker. Ok, let’s get real – they were close to certifiable. Some comically so, while others in a dark and twisted way that would haunt your dreams. So, as part of March Madness, here are my personal picks for the five craziest Twin Peaks characters,

5) Mayor Dwayne Milford (played by John Boylan)

He couldn’t hear and you couldn’t be sure if he had it all together, but this was the man that was supposed to run Twin Peaks? Mayor Milford was played pretty much for laughs on Twin Peaks, but his crazy decision to marry his dead brother’s ex Lana leant itself to some pretty funny moments in the middle of the lacklustre second season of the series.

4) Windom Earle (played by Kenneth Welsh)

Canadian Kenneth Welsh added a much needed spark to the second season of Twin Peaks when he joined the show as Windom Earle, Agent Cooper’s former partner who had gone crazy, killed his wife and was now out to get Cooper and gain entry into the Black Lodge. In his various disguises, Earle made his way into the town, committing murder and making the formerly diabolical and now impaired Leo Johnson into his own lackey. In a show full of mad characters, Welsh maniacal Earle managed to stand out by being just plan evil.

3) Nadine Hurley (played by Wendy Robie)

Ok, there’s the eyepatch. But that doesn’t make you crazy. Super strength? Still not grounds for being committed. No, when it comes to Nadine Hurley, I’ve got three words for you – silent drape runners.

2) Agent Dale Cooper (played by Kyle McLachlan)

There’s no question that Agent Cooper is the hero of Twin Peaks. And he is a complete and utter good guy. But that doesn’t mean he’s not as mad as a hatter. Think about his crime solving methods – throwing rocks to nail a suspect? That’s pretty out there. Or his complete and utter acceptance of the evil spirits that inhabit the Black Lodge; it just seems slightly creepy to me. Perhaps Cooper’s craziest minutes comes during the final episode of the series, when the real Dale meets his frightening doppleganger. For a series full of surreal and mad moments, the final half hour is surely its defining one.

1) Leland Palmer (played by Ray Wise)

There’s no argument that there’s a hugely tragic element to Leland Palmer. Possessed by the spirit of BOB, the evil, malevolent spirit that haunts Twin Peaks, he goes on to commit the most heinous of acts. But even before the big reveal, Leland was one of the most damaged and distraught characters – how could he not be, with the murder of his teenage daughter Laura. All credit goes to Ray Wise for his amazing portrayal, which veers from joy to sadness to madness, more often than not in the span of one scene.