In episode two of “Twin Peaks,” we learned more than we needed to know about Tibet, cheating couples and radical dreams. This episode we have a funeral.

Diane

Who is this mystery person that Agent Cooper (Kyle MacLachian) tells all his personal history to? Is Diane Cooper’s secretary, his girlfriend, mother, imaginary friend? Whoever Diane is, she must be sick to death of hearing about Twin Peaks.

Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) has a crush on special agent Cooper and he feels something towards the girl, too. His remark about her perfume may be a compliment, but it may just be Cooper’s looking for another clue. Cooper has Audrey write her name. We’ve found the person who left the note under the door. She wants to help. She knew Laura better than anyone else. I believe Audrey. She’s seen things and, heard some of daddy’s secrets. Audrey is a wealth of information. She explains to Cooper what goes on at One Eyed Jacks and that Laura worked in Ben Horne’s department store; at the perfume counter.

Cooper tells Audrey that slant in her handwriting hints at a heart that yearns for romance. He tells her to be careful. Doesn’t Cooper realize that Audrey is yearning for him? Their conversation and mutual ‘like’ for each other is interrupted with the arrival of Harry Truman and Lucy.

While Cooper talks ham and maple syrup, Harry’s focus is on who killed Laura. Cooper tells them about his dream and some mumbo jumbo about breaking the code to solve the crime. Cooper talks about Mike and killer Bob and the reason Mike cut off his arm; blah, blah, blah. Then, Cooper then describes the red room, the midget in the red suit and, the beautiful woman who whispered the name of the killer in his ear.

Poor Harry (Michael Ontkean) hangs on to every word thinking there is a reason for this insane conversation, but Cooper can’t remember the name of the killer. Right now is when you would expect Harry to give Cooper a Gibbs smack to the back of the head; he doesn’t, but I want to. Andy calls. There’s a fight at the morgue; Albert.

Sultan of Sentiment

Agent Albert (Miguel Ferrer) is on a roll. He tells Dr. Haywood that he’s traveled thousands of miles and several centuries into the past to do tests on Laura. I love Albert. His righteous zingers are hilarious. Ben Horne is there and tries to calm things down, but Albert stands his ground and picks up the drill. He’s got a lot of cutting and pasting to do. Albert’s latest insult to Harry earns him a punch to the nose. Not for anything, but if I’m ever murdered, I’d want Albert doing the autopsy. My killer’s capture would be a shoe in.

A few of the characters on “Twin Peaks” watch a soap opera called “Invitation to Love”, but it mirrors what’s happening on the show. I find myself trying to keep up with what’s going on with the characters on that soap opera because they’re just as wacky as the characters on Twin Peaks. Speaking of characters, we get to meet a new player on this episode. Madeleine Ferguson (Sheryl Lee) is Laura’s look-a-like cousin. She’s in for the funeral. Leland is surprised to see Maddy. Why? Wouldn’t you’d expect family to show up?

While Norma is pestered by Hank’s lawyer into giving jailbird hubby, Hank, a good recommendation, Cooper is visiting Leo. Ducks on a lake! Cooper gets excited over the strangest things. It cracks me up how innocent Cooper is at times. This is a man with a gun and a badge. He’s probably put away many a hardened criminal, and yet, he goes all gaga over ducks.  While Leo lies about knowing Laura, Bobby (Dana Ashbrook) gets a heart to heart talk with Major Colonel Dad. That poor man had this blank expression on his face after talking to Bobby. I recognized it. I’ve worn it myself many times whenever my teen aged daughter tried to explain to me why she should be allowed to stay out past midnight on a school night.

Albert’s Results

While Hawk is off to track down the one armed man, Albert gives his report which proves that he knows his stuff. Cocaine was found in Laura’s diary; toxicology results also positive. The twine embedded in Laura’s and Ronette’s wrists are a match. Laura was tied up with her arms bent backwards just like in Cooper’s dream. The killer washed his hands before kissing Laura. The claw marks and bites on Laura’s shoulder are from an animal and, plastic with the letter ‘J’ was found in Laura’s stomach. Cooper refuses to sign a complaint lodged against Harry Truman.

Laura’s Funeral

Everyone is preparing for the funeral even wacky doodle Nadine. We do learn that Ed and Norma were a couple in high school and listening to Nadine speak, you wonder is she wasn’t a stalker back then.

The funeral is uneventful with all the main characters lost in thought and Cooper watching everyone for clues and body language. Yep, the funeral is uneventful until Bobby goes James Dean on us and, they begin to lower the coffin into the ground.

Andy Burns mentioned this particular scene in his book, Wrapped in Plastic: Twin Peaks. I thought I was prepared for what I was about to see, but hell no! Leland (Ray Wise) throws himself upon the coffin messing up the wiring. That scene is going to be stuck in my head forever.

Secret Society

Cooper learns of a secret society when he meets with Harry, Hawk and Ed (Everett McGill) for coffee and pie. They call themselves the Bookhouse Boys. Harry and his posse might seem like small town cops, but they’re smart enough to know that there is something evil lurking in the very heart of Twin Peaks. They have their opinion of what’s going on and they have their likely suspects. The police, as far as I’m concerned, would be the most likely to notice the supernatural stuff going on. They are on the front lines and they deal with the garbage, day in and day out. Harry’s secret society has taken it upon themselves to continue the tradition of protecting their people from whatever entity is sucking the life out of their town. They suspect Jacques Renault (Walter Olkewicz), the bartender at the Roadhouse, of bringing drugs into town. Cooper is invited to their secret meeting place where they are holding Bernard Renault prisoner; Bernard isn’t talking.

Conclusion

I’m wondering if Albert would think differently of Twin Peaks if he knew about Harry’s secret society. What is Josie’s real story? Is she playing Harry when she tells him that Catherine and Ben might want to hurt her? What isn’t she saying? Life in Twin Peaks is one big soap opera. Everyone claims they loved Laura Palmer, but no one really knew her. While Cooper talks souls with Hawk at the Road House, Leland starts dancing and crying out for someone to dance with him. What can I say, Twin Peaks is full of wacky doodles and dangerous secrets.

In the last episode of “Twin Peaks,” we met Laura’s look-a-like cousin Maddy and, we found out about a secret society. This is a town of secrets and Agent Cooper has his hands full of possible suspects. Right now, he needs a sketch artist.

Visions

Sarah is giving a description of killer Bob to a police sketch artist. She says he was hiding at the foot of Laura’s bed. She doesn’t mention how he got there or how he left.  Is she the only one seeing Bob? Leland walks in and says, “Did you tell them about the necklace? They’re going to love that one.”

The dynamics of the Palmer family is so telling. The glare that Sarah sends in her husband’s direction speaks volumes. This is not a happy marriage; hasn’t been for a long time. Leland’s mocking of Sarah’s two visions has Harry wondering what the hell is going on.

Sarah’s visions are pretty damn accurate, which makes me wonder if the woman is clairvoyant. Sarah had a vision of someone digging up Laura’s necklace from under a rock. In an interesting turn of events, the vision that Cooper had of killer Bob matches the police sketch given by Sarah and, Hawk has found the one-armed man.

Invitation to Love

Harry asks Lucy what’s up, as in police work. But, daffy loveable Lucy goes into detail about the characters on her favorite soap opera “Invitation to Love” and how Emerald is hitting on her brother-in-law, Chet. The soap opera plays at the most opportune times and has nothing to do with what’s going on in the story, or does it? Having a soap opera within a soap opera was a genius move on the part of the writers. Think Matrix.

Lucy and Andy are going through their own soap opera and Andy is apparently in the dog house with Lucy. Everyone knows that Lucy is mad at him, but poor Andy has no clue as to why. Harry Goaz does such an awesome job of playing the clueless, klutzy Deputy Andy. Every episode is filled with mishaps that make you shake your head in disbelief, but this is why “Twin Peaks” was so unique for its day. All the characters in Twin Peaks were a bit quirky, but their quirkiness only makes them more human.

Speaking of quirky, good ole psychedelic Dr. Jacoby, played deliciously by Russ Tamblyn, is playing Doctor/patient confidentiality hat tricks with Agent Cooper. Jacoby does admit that Laura had secrets, but she kept her secrets to herself. Jacoby admits that he failed the girl. In between his erratic babble, Jacoby reveals that he followed a man in a red convertible the night after Laura died. Leland Palmer and Leo both drive red cars.

Cooper’s boss, Gordon, has news: the bites on Laura’s shoulders were bird bites and, Albert is pressing charges against Harry. I was so happy that Cooper (Kyle MacLachian) went to bat for Harry. The relationship between Cooper and Harry (Michael Ontkean) over the last few episodes seems to be slowly evolving. Although Cooper and Harry are both great cops, they work better as a team.

One-armed Man

Phillip Michael Gerard (Al Strobel) is the man that Cooper dreamt about. Did Cooper have these visions before he came to Twin Peaks? When they go to the motel to question Gerard, he tells Cooper and Harry that lost his arm in a car accident. Cooper wants to know if Gerard’s missing arm had a tattoo. It did. Gerard is friends with Bob the Veterinarian. Bob’s in a coma. Gerard is a shoe salesman. All his shoes are for the right foot. This show cracks me up.

There is no denying that Twin Peaks serves a healthy serving of comedy in each episode. The episodes are full of one-liners and witticism that helps to offset the underlining horror. If the stuffed dear head at the bank didn’t make you do a double take, then the trip to the Veterinarian Clinic should. Cooper and Harry find out that Dr. Bob not only treated dogs and cats but also birds and, of all things, a Llama. Our good guys confiscate the files and go searching for Waldo. No, not that Waldo, but the Mynah bird owned by Jacque Renault.

Audrey

Of all the women on this show, it’s Sherilyn Fenn’s Audrey that feels the most authentic to me. Our little sex kitten is playing detective; a Gal Friday trying to solve the case. Audrey gives the impression that she’s an air head, but she isn’t. In fact, she is very observant. She knows about the One-Eyed Jacks casino and, the perfume counter at Ben Horne’s department store.

Audrey is certainly aware that her father is not only cheating on her mother, but that he’s involved in illegal stuff like drugs and prostitution. This would explain why Audrey sabotages his business meetings. Ben Horne loves money, loves power and, the only way to hurt him is through his wallet. Audrey is going undercover. She wants a job in his department store.

Conclusion

“Twin Peaks” is a drama that has lots of evil stuff going on. This evil is slowly saturating the private lives of the characters involved. There is a hopelessness that reveals itself in the way the women of the town deal with their lives and their men.

We’ve already seen that there is something very wrong with the Palmer’s marriage, but we also get to learn more about Hank and Norma’s relationship. There is no love in that marriage. Body language screams out the truth in the way Norma (Peggy Lipton) leans away when Hank walks over to talk to her. Shelly (Madchen Amick) is fooling around with Bobby, but does she believe that Bobby would treat her any better than her husband Leo? Abused women usually have very low self-esteem and that’s why they keep choosing one loser after another. Bobby, Leo, Hank and Ben are bad men doing bad things. The women who choose to love these men are at their mercy. These are dangerous men, but as scary as they are, there is something even more sinister lurking in the shadows.

There is definitely a supernatural element within the town of Twin Peaks. It seeks out highly sensitive people via visions and dreams. This could explain the dream Cooper had of the mysterious one-armed Gerard. There are evil things happening in the town of Twin Peaks, but Cooper, Harry, Hawk and the other members of the Bookhouse Boys are trying their best to stop it. They just have to be careful that our loveable klutzy Andy doesn’t accidentally shoot one of them.

Holy llamas on a stick! On episode four, we followed Cooper and Harry Truman as they continue their search for Laura’s killers.  I’m beginning to believe that the outlaws outnumber the good guys. Everyone is a suspect, even that damn Waldo.

Diane

Cooper is complaining again to the mysterious Diane. When does he send her these recorded messages? How much does this woman get paid, because whatever she’s getting; it’s not enough. Cooper even has Diane running errands for him that doesn’t involve police work. Get your own ear plugs, Cooper. You’re a big boy, now.

How come I never bump into fun loving people from Iceland when I stay at a hotel? Ben and Jerry may think the Icelanders a rowdy group, but they are my kind of people! How much do you know about the country of Iceland? I found this site that gives you some really interesting information on the people of Iceland and why they’re such a happy bunch.

This show is full of gag lines like when Jerry tells Ben that his Ice Queen gave him a leg of lamb for a gift. But when you want weird, no one delivers like good ole Leland Palmer. His weirdness is even too much for the thieving Horne brothers.

Jail Bait

I love Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn). This girl would have fit in with the crowd I hung with from my high school days in South Philly. Audrey is one smart cookie and she is way ahead of her time. The other girls in the series seem so wishy-washy next to her. She wants to help solve the crime and maybe win Cooper’s undying devotion. She’s hot for the clueless Cooper, but he’s in a pissy mood and doesn’t want to hear about her new job. Audrey is flirting, but Cooper thinks she’s too young. Girls like Audrey were never young. Girls like Audrey were born with the goddess instinct. They know how to tease. I don’t know if anyone picked up on Cooper’s reaction when she tells him that she is eighteen. You have to watch closely, but you can see the lights go off in his head. He’s thinking, old enough. You sense this in his clever reply. “I’ll see you later, Audrey.”

Audrey knows her power over men and she will use it. When the manager of the Horne department store is hesitant to give her the position of sales clerk behind the perfume counter, she uses her trump card. The threat is taken seriously and Audrey gets the position.

Coffee

Harry, Cooper, Andy and Doc Hayward are at Jacque Renault’s apartment. They now know that the blood on Leo’s shirt is not Laura’s and… hey… wait a minute… did the police bring a box of donuts and coffee with them on this investigation? How much caffeine do these people need to function? Did you know that there are great benefits connected to drinking coffee?

I grew up drinking coffee at a young age. It did not kill me. My grandmother would make her espresso coffee for breakfast. I still remember sitting in her kitchen located in the Italian Market area of 9^th and Federal Streets. She would make us breakfast and we would have a cup of coffee with the meal. It smelled so good while it perked on the stove and when she mixed the coffee with steamed milk, it was magic.  On Sunday afternoons, after the family dinner, my grandmother would make her espresso coffee, but the men would add Anisette Liqueur to the cup.

Like Cooper and the officers of Twin Peaks, I love coffee. I make Italian coffee just like my grandmother did, but unlike her family size pot, I have a small espresso coffee pot. It’s the cutest little thing; big enough to make one cup. The brand of coffee is very important. This is what I use.

While a saucepan filled with about a cup of milk is heating up on the stove, I add two teaspoons of coffee into the pot. When it comes to a boil lower the heat, count to five, then remove it from the stove. Pour the coffee into a cup containing the steamed milk and sugar. Damn good coffee, that Espresso and, if you want to be a bit daring, skip the milk and add a little anisette.

Wacky Couple’s Corner

Does true love exist in Twin Peaks? From the broken relationships I’ve been seeing, I doubt it. Bobby and Shelly are planning on killing Leo. Norma visits Ed and tells him Hank is coming home. They are both afraid to break the news to their respective mates. Donna, Maddie and James decide to work together to solve the murder. They need to find Laura’s secret hiding place. Hank is listening in the next booth. Hank wants to earn his way back into Norma’s heart. Where does he start? Norma tells Hank to wash the dishes. Maybe she should have told him to put out the trash, himself included

Dr. Jacoby

The fact that the school recommends this fruit loop to the parents for troubled students makes me wonder if the school itself is in need of major electric shock therapy. Who the hell would take their child to this doctor? Bobby tells Jacoby that his father kills people. In wartime, true, but to Bobby that doesn’t mean a thing. It’s killing. There may be a reason that Bobby is acting out. His arrogant, tough boy, persona is hiding his pain. He wasn’t able to satisfy Laura and she made fun of him. Laura was harboring an awful secret that made her prey on and, degrade the people who loved her. Is this why she wanted to die? Wow! We’re given a side of Laura that we didn’t know about before.

The Cabin

Thanks to the Flesh World magazine, Harry, Hawke, Cooper and Doc Hayward go searching for Renault’s cabin and bump into the Log Lady. I love Log lady (Catherine E. Coulson). She reminds me of a customer who used to shop at our family’s grocery store. This customer carried a doll with her. She thought it was real and would talk to it. She wanted us to talk to the doll. We did, not to hurt her feelings. When you own a business, you see all sides of humanity. I learned to understand people at a very young age because of that store.

Log Lady has no red curtains in her home and, her log does not judge. She serves our merry men with tea and cookies. The owls won’t see them in the cabin. Shut your eyes and you’ll burst into flames. Does anyone in this town talk normal? Hey, maybe Cooper can interrogate the log. Thanks to the log, they find Renault’s cabin and inside is Waldo the Myna bird, music, twine and gambling chips from One Eyed Jacks. Maybe, they should pin a badge on the log and call it a deputy because it’s freaking smarter than Andy.

Conclusion

There’s a party for the business men at the Hotel. Everyone’s there. Audrey is spying from her secret cubby hole and learns that Catherine is pissed off big time with Ben, but maybe for the wrong reason. It’s not the call girls at One-Eyed Jacks that Catherine should be worried about. It’s Josie. I knew there was something fishy about her.

It’s your regular boring business event until Leland starts dancing. He’s dancing by himself and crying. Oh, my God! Where are Abbott and Costello when you need them? Catherine has to save the day. She dances and imitates everything Leland is doing. The freaking Icelanders think that this is part of the dance and join in. The whole room is dancing and wiping their eyes; freaking hilarious.

Things are picking up on this episode. Maddy finds Laura’s tape; Hank beats up Leo; Leo beats up Shelly, and Shelly shoots Leo. But, the best is saved for last. Our little FBI agent comes back to his room to find the door ajar. Inside a naked Audrey is waiting. She’s eighteen, young and hot for Cooper. I’ll put on that pot of coffee. Cooper is going to need it.

In episode five of “Twin Peaks,” Cooper and the gang not only found the cabin, but the world can now stop looking for Waldo. Good ole Leland started a new dance craze and Cooper found more than a piece of chocolate on his pillow. I told you how to make a damn good cup of coffee. Have you tried it yet? This week we go undercover. Where is my disguise?

Audrey

Oh my God! Is Cooper giving Audrey the old birds and bees discussion? “Does that mean you want me to leave?” Audrey asks. I really like the interaction between Cooper and Audrey. It seems real. I get the sense that these two actors, Kyle MacLachan and Sherilyn Fenn were also friends off camera, but I’ll need to check with Andy Burns, author of Wrapped in Plastic: Twin Peaks to find out for sure.  Audrey is eighteen, but she’s still in high school and that means jail bait. So, for now, Cooper and Audrey will need to remain friends without benefits.

Lucy and Andy are going through a rough time. She won’t tell him why she’s so pissed at him and Andy isn’t smart enough to figure it out. Most men, if they’re honest about this, have no idea how to handle a woman when she’s visibly pissed off. My advice is to tread softly. But Lucy’s bad mood is because of a hormonal thing called pregnancy. Andy should stay far away from Lucy and hang out with Waldo.

Waldo

Dr. Haywood is reading up on myna birds which are quite intelligent and can mimic the human voice. Did Harry really expect a reply when he asked Waldo, “What’s up?” Waldo is in bad shape; dehydrated and underfed. Those donuts are not going to help him. Cooper leaves his recorder on just in case Waldo has something to say. Maybe Waldo will ask to see his lawyer. Leo is still alive. This man has nine lives and his wife is a bad shot. Leo knows that Waldo is at the police station. He’s scared. That damn bird is a stool pigeon.

Family Business

Audrey is giving major attitude to finicky female shopper over perfume. As Ben Horne’s daughter, she sure as hell isn’t worried about being fired. This one scene was not only funny but it was a trip back in time for me. My parents, Fred and Lucy, owned a grocery store in South Philly. It was opened seven days a week from early morning to eight at night. My siblings and I really didn’t want to be behind that counter, but in a family business; everyone was put to work. I was the oldest and after a long day at school, I wasn’t the most pleasant person to have behind the counter. I could be a real bitch. Most of the customers were nice and you could deal with them, but we had a few customers that were a big pain in the rear.

One lady, in particular, came in every day for her luncheon meats. Mary (not her real name) demanded that the ham or the boloney be sliced thin. She meant transparent thin. No matter how thin I sliced it; it was never thin enough. Mary always complained. She wanted the ham thin enough to see through. I lost my cool one day and asked Mary if she was going to use the ham for curtains. My father gave me a smack to the back of the head for sassing a customer. I perfectly understood Audrey’s disdain for the finicky shopper.

Undercover Agents

Audrey overhears her slimy boss offering a fellow worker a job at One-Eyed Jacks. Audrey is a born detective and a true Gal Friday. She wants to help Cooper solve the case. After leaving a note under Cooper’s door, Audrey goes undercover. She dressed seductively and played the part of call girl to the hilt, but she was out of her league. Blackie guesses correctly that Audrey is more Snow White than Jezebel. Then Audrey does that thing with her tongue and a cherry stem. Smart move, Audrey… or is it?

Cooper and Big Ed are also going undercover. They are looking for Jacque. Cooper is in a tux and he has ten thousand dollars of the government’s money; our tax dollars at work. Cooper and Big Ed pretend to be rich oral surgeons. Let’s just hope no one needs a root canal done while they’re there. Big Ed’s wig and fake mustache is the worst disguise, ever. The funniest part of this whole undercover routine is that Blackie knows that Big Ed is under that cheap wig.

There is a whole lot of undercover work going on in this episode. Maddy, James and Donna are listening to one of Laura’s tapes for Dr. Jacoby. The tapes are seductive, especially when you consider that this is a young high school girl doing the talking.

I keep reminding myself that “Twin Peaks” premiered in 1990. It aired on a major network. Networks have sponsors who get a little nervous if the ratings drop or if a show is too risqué. Unlike cable where everything is up for grabs, this series had to play by the rules, and yet, here is this high school girl talking about her sex life on national television. If Facebook and Twitter existed back then, this episode would have gone viral. When the kids discover that one of the tapes is missing, they hatch a plan. Maddy will disguise herself as Laura and James and Donna will search for the tape in Jacoby’s office.

Conclusion

The good guys are comedic in their attempts to find the truth behind Laura’s murder. Cooper is a government agent and, I’m damn sure he’s gone undercover before, but I think he’s been downing too much coffee because his attempt at fooling Blackie failed. Audrey succeeded at her undercover act as did Maddy, who was able to lure the frazzled Dr. Jacoby away from his office.

The list of bad guys is growing with Hank, Bobby, the Renaults, Leo, Ben Horne, Catherine and Josie. What do we really know about Josie? Not much and, Cooper was quick to point this out to the love struck Harry. Josie is one slick chick who is playing everyone. But, she hasn’t fooled Catherine, who learns through a life insurance policy that Horne and Josey are working against her.

I saved the bad news for last. Poor Waldo the stool pigeon was shot by Leo. No funeral will be held for Waldo, but he did leave some important clues on the recorder.

Read enough of Biff Bam Pop and you likely know that I’m a big Twin Peaks fan (I wrote a book and all), so whenever I read or hear that something is inspired or influenced by the series, I’m always willing to take a look. That’s how I cam across Josh Williamson and his excellent Image series, Nailbiter. It’s also how I discovered Blake Crouch’s novel, Wayward Pines a few years back.

I don’t exactly recall how I heard about Wayward Pines; perhaps it was after FOX optioned it for a tv series and cited its Twin Peaks colours. Regardless, as soon as I heard about the book, I downloaded it from Amazon for my iPad’s Kindle App. The story is about Special Agent Ethan Burke, who arrives in the town of Wayward Pines looking for two missing FBI agents. As he wanders around the seemingly idyllic locale, Burke quickly realizes all is not as it seems.

As a novel, Wayward Pines really worked for me. Crouch was clearly working in Twin Peaks territory (he admits it in the book’s afterward), and I thought he delivered. So, you can completely understand why I would be interested to see the book translated to a multi-part tv series. Except, that is, for the fact that attached to the series as a producer was M Night Shyamalan. No offence to MNS – he’s created some great films; The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Signs, The Village. But I’ve avoided his lesser films – when people are slamming The Happening, The Last Airbender and After Earth, I don’t feel the need to discover how bad they are for myself. MNS’ work, most agree, has faltered over the past decade. But maybe moving into the realm of episodic television would be a good thing for him.

Then there was the cast for Wayward Pines – Matt Dillon, Juliette Lewis, Toby Jones, Melissa Leo, Shannyn Sossamon and Terrence Howard. They’re all big names, right? How could this series not deliver, right?

And then I watched the first episode. Directed by MNS, ‘When Paradise Is Home’ opens as though it wants to be Lost 2, with a close up on the eyes of Ethan Burke (Dillon). As the show progresses, you certainly get the whole Twin Peaks vibe going on. A small town, some quirky characters (most notably Leo’s Nurse Pam and Sheriff’s secretary Arlene, played by Siobhan Fallon Hogan) and an air of mystery – it’s all there. However, unlike the Twin Peaks pilot, a classic piece of television, the premiere of Wayward Pines is saddled with some absolutely atrocious acting, from almost everyone involved.  I didn’t believe or buy any of the characters – I’m not sure how much of that comes from the script by Chad Hodge, who developed the series for FOX, or if it’s just that the actors themselves are simply not into it. Matt Dillon seems to be sleepwalking through the role; Terrence Howard is just awful as Sheriff Pope, who in theory is supposed to be the series bad guy. I don’t buy Sossamon as mom to a teenager, and I’m a fan of hers. The only performances I enjoyed at all were from Leo, who plays it over the top, and an understated Juliette Lewis, who is a bartender and appears to be the only other person in town who Burke can trust.

Believe me, I wish I enjoyed this episode WAY more than I did. Part of my issues could also arise from the fact that I know the secret of Wayward Pines; perhaps reading the book simply ruined the series for me. I don’t think so, though. I think that, sadly, the premiere episode is another in a line of poor showings from M Night Shyamalan. Does that mean I won’t watch the next episode? No, not quite. I’m willing to give it another episode, maybe two. But I can tell you that at the end of the first 43 minutes, I was severely let down by Wayward Pines.

One thing is for sure: the television adaptation of Wayward Pines is definitely not Twin Peaks. Not even close. Here’s hoping it can be something else.

On the last episode of “Twin Peaks,” everyone was busy playing an undercover agent. The disguises didn’t work and the Myna bird is dead. It’s the finale for season one, that is for latecomers to the show like myself. Events are coming to a head and someone will die. Who? Meet me after the jump

Break In and Discoveries

I just love how the characters on this show take matters into their own hands. Why wait for the police, when James, Donna and Maddy can do their own detective work? Don’t these kids have homework? When I was in high school back in the day, or according to my smart ass grandson, the post dinosaur days, the nuns gave us enough homework to keep us from doing any of the stuff the teenagers do on “Twin Peaks.” I do have to give James, Maddy and Donna some credit for tricking Dr. Jacoby away from his office and, while Donna and James locate the tape and necklace inside a coconut, Dr. Jacoby is on the other side of town getting mugged by a stranger.

Speaking of doctors’ offices, none of my doctors have offices decorated like the Hawaiian Islands. I wish they did. Maybe I wouldn’t dread my appointments so much if they offered me a few Pina Coladas to sip on while I waited to be probed and prodded.

While the One Eyed Jacks’ roulette wheel spins for Cooper, Audrey is trying on nighties to play naughty with the male guests. She better watch out because daddy dearest likes to break in the new girls. This episode answers some questions, but it also gives us a detailed look into the minds of the characters. Cooper is definitely a little wacky and we picked up on this at the start. I find myself constantly comparing Cooper to another favorite law enforcer of mine, “Monk.” Cooper may not have OCD or the other lovable quirks that so endeared Monk to me, but Cooper is definitely not your average cop. I love how Cooper shouts out the craziest things in the middle of an investigation. He loves coffee, pie, trees and ducks and, by now, everyone in Twin Peaks knows this.

But, there is a brilliant mind under that cutie-pie face. Cooper knows how to get people talking and, he knows when to be quiet and listen. With just a few unassuming questions, Cooper gets Jacque Renault to talk about the night that Laura died. Cooper kept a straight face through the entire questioning even when Jacque laughed about the bird hurting Laura and Leo shoving the poker chip into Laura’s mouth to keep her from screaming. Cooper didn’t blink. Casting Kyle MacLachan as Cooper was a brilliant move. MacLachan is Cooper. No other actor could have pulled this character off as well as MacLachan did and because MacLachan was right for the part, everyone in the cast did their parts so much better and so more believable.

Sheriff Harry Truman has one of the wackiest police departments in the world. The antics of Lucy and Andy make me want to watch this show to see what silly stuff Andy will do next. Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) reminds me of Gracie Allen and, uses her zany cluelessness as a sharp edge sword of humor. Harry Goaz plays his Deputy Andy just like another befuddled and lovable deputy I used to watch on television; Barney Fife (Don Knotts). When Jacque tries to escape arrest by shooting at Harry, I never expected to see Andy shoot straight? Andy’s shot put Jacque into the hospital where Dr. Jacoby is also a patient.

Laura’s Tape

Who was Laura? Really, who was she? When we first meet Laura, she’s deader than a doorknob and, at first, everybody is singing her praise. We seem to do that when someone dies. We don’t talk about Uncle Harry’s drinking problems, or Aunt Ruth’s nasty temper at the funeral, but later, after the body is interned, the cracks resurface on that pedestal we’ve them placed on. Laura isn’t the sweet girl that everyone thought she was. On the tape, she’s talking trash, lots of trash and something about a mystery guy who can light her fire. He drives a red corvette. Maddy, James and Donna sure as hell didn’t expect to learn about this secret side to little miss perfect. Will that change how they feel about their friend. Does it change how you feel about Laura? Be honest.

Lovers’ Leap

Like little lemmings heading for that one way trip from the highest peak, Twin Peak’s wacky couples are always trying to outsmart each other with disastrous results. While Leo prepares to burn down the mill with Shelly trapped inside the building, Nadine is dressed in her Sunday dress and downing a bottle of pills. Josie claims she loves Harry, but she’s pretty chummy with Ben and Hank. Catherine realizes that her days are numbered and that her lover, Ben, and his cohort, Josie, have an insurance policy on her, and yet, the silly woman still goes to the mill.

Conclusion

I am so happy that I read Andy Burns‘ Wrapped in Plastic: Twin Peaks before I began to review this show for Biff Bam Pop!. I’m trying to figure out what the hell I was doing twenty five years ago that caused me to miss Twin Peak’s original run. It doesn’t matter now because I have a better understanding of the show because of Andy’s book. His helpful insights have helped me bond with the characters and I’ve become invested in their journey.

Season one ends with a shocking cliffhanger and a few surprises. Leland Palmer has taken some time out from his dance routine to kill Jacque Renault. The mask in which Leland hides behind has been lowered. We get a glimpse of the dark voyager within and it is frightening. This is why I love Twin Peaks so much. The show’s quick jumps from humor to horror and back, keep us viewers off balance. We don’t know who to trust. Evil is just a dance step away and hides itself behind a grieving father’s tears.

I’m worried about our little Audrey. She has landed in a pit of snakes and the Cobra wants to celebrate the Norwegians signing the papers by breaking in the new girl. She left a note for Cooper. Surely he’ll come to her rescue, right?

James gives Cooper Laura’s tape, but he’s in trouble. There are drugs in his bike’s gas tank. Leo has been shot, but we don’t know who did it? Were there clues on that silly soap opera that was playing on Leo’s television? Did Catherine and Shelly survive the fire at the mill?

I don’t think Audrey is going to be rescued anytime soon. Cooper finds Audrey’s note in his room, but before he can read it, someone shoots him. Damn, didn’t see that coming! See you next week with season two, episode one and do me a big favor. Keep drinking the coffee.

On our last episode, the season finale of season one of “Twin Peaks,” we were left with several cliffhangers. Waldo is dead, the log knows things, Audrey is trapped at One Eyed Jacks and, Agent Cooper has been shot. Hopefully, room service is on the way.

Room Service

While Andy panics on the phone, the granddaddy of all room service staff shows up. This man has to be over a hundred years old and he’s senile. He goes about his business, never reacting to the seriously wounded agent Cooper. The fact that this man stops long enough for Cooper to sign the tab, hints that showrunners David Lynch and Mark Frost were only stretching their muscles in season one. I love the writing for this series and the witty flashes of insanity that Lynch and Frost toss out at the most unexpected moments. Their brilliant shuffling of comedy and horror within the same deck of cards has raised my level of respect for the show.

And, speaking of witty flashes of insanity, after the old coot leaves Cooper’s room, a giant appears at Cooper’s feet and, he is offering three riddles. What, no wishes? The riddles are just as mysterious as the giant and they make no sense to Cooper. There is a man in a smiling bag; the owls are not what they seem; without chemicals he points. The giant wants Cooper’s ring and Cooper won’t get it back until all three things come true. If this giant (Carel Struycken) looks familiar to you, it’s because he played Lurch in the 199os Addams Family films.

Before leaving Cooper, the giant offers one more riddle; Leo was locked inside a hungry horse. Just when you think it can’t get more bizarre, the giant tells Cooper, before vanishing, that he’ll need medical attention. No shit Sherlock!

Oh my God! Will the poor, mysterious and underpaid Diane be forced to listen to the recording of Cooper’s death prattle? Blah, blah, blah, Cooper mentions to Diane that luckily for him, he was wearing his bullet proof vest, but he had hiked it up to get at a wood tick. He was also hoping to visit Tibet. Diane is spared further bucket list wishes when Harry and the others show up. We later learn that although Cooper survived, the wood tick didn’t.

Cooper learns about the other disasters that happened while he was speaking to the giant: the mill burned down; Leo was shot and is in a coma; Jacque was strangled; Shelly and Pete had smoke inhalation; Catherine and Josie are missing and, Nadine took too many pills and is in a coma. Cooper’s response; get a search warrant for Leo’s house. So, I’m guessing he’s going with the giant’s clues.

Audrey

Poor Audrey is hiding behind a mask. She doesn’t want daddy dear to know it’s her. I don’t know about you, but I would have yanked that curtain back, and hopefully, given the old pervert a heart attack. Audrey, who up to this episode acted like she wasn’t frightened of anything, is way over her head. Blackie has made it very clear that Audrey is required to make the guests happy. When she’s praying for Cooper to save her, you see that Audrey is still an innocent; a scared little girl and we all want to save her. Is it just me? I find myself more interested in Audrey’s situation than I am in what happened to Laura. Sherilyn Fenn’s Audrey is more vibrant than the other female characters on “Twin Peaks” and I think it’s because Sherilyn is having so much fun with her character.

Ben and Jerry are true dirt bags who use the manager at the Horne department store to lure young girls into working for the casino/bordello. It’s human trafficking, no matter how you look at it. Blackie is hooked on drugs and because of this addiction; she’s willing to do all the nasty work for the Horne brothers. I wonder if she also started out behind the perfume counter.

Leland

If you didn’t already know about Leland, by now, you should be putting the puzzle pieces together. This man just killed Jacque Renault. He plays the part of grief stricken father, but there is an evil within him. You can see this evil in his eyes. Leland’s hair has turned white overnight. He blames it on the stress from his daughter’s death. What’s with all this singing and dancing?

Was Leland like this before his daughter died? Leland surprises Ben and Jerry with his white hair, but they readily join in on his song and dance routine. I love watching Ray Wise work his magic on us. In the first season, he had us feeling sorry for him, but little by little he is pulling away the mask and we don’t know if we should laugh or run for our lives.

Conclusion

Nothing is as it seems on this show. The scene with the hospital food was pure genius. I’m pretty sure this is how The Blob began. I worked at a hospital for fifteen years and, I’ve also been a patient many times. The food was always good; boring but good and, if we ever dared to serve our patients the muck that Shelly and Jacoby were served, the patients would have thrown the tray at us. This show doesn’t disappoint in the gag department, and maybe, this is a good thing. From Andy’s antics with a loose floor board to the return of wisecracking Albert, there is always something to divert us from the horror that silently waits to scare the bejeebers out of us.

Big Ed is rethinking his vows with Nadine. Her attempted suicide has made Ed remember why he fell in love with her. He tells Cooper that he accidently shot out Nadine’s eye on their honeymoon, but was it an accident? Norma’s not happy about Ed and Nadine, and Bobby suspects that Hank shot Leo. He’s right.

Why are Donna and Maddy acting so strange? Are Laura’s sunglasses haunted? Did listening to the Laura’s sexual innuendos make Donna and Maddy want to emulate their friend? When Donna drops by the jail, Lucy and James both notice the change. Donna is now smoking up a storm and, her new persona scares James. While Lucy and Andy scan the pile of Flesh World magazines looking for Theresa Banks’ photo, Leland is visiting the Hayward home where Doc’s daughters do a tribute to Laura. Leland does another song and dance routine, but I actually look forward to Leland’s act.

No matter how silly Cooper  appears to be on occasion, he knows his shit. He has deduced from Laura’s tape and Jacque’s confession that there was a third man involved in Laura’s death. The giant told the truth about Leo being locked up inside a Hungry Horse. It was a jail in Montana. Leo has an alibi for Theresa Banks’ murder. Cooper also knows that Laura knew Bob. Cooper is smart alright and that is why he was shot. He’s too smart.

The giant returns that night with a new riddle and to remind Cooper that he forgot something. If Cooper doesn’t find Audrey’s note, there won’t be much to laugh about.

See you next week, and maybe, we’ll get another song and dance routine from Leland.

The series, “Twin Peaks,” has become a special treat for me. Just like the Italian Espresso that I treat myself to every afternoon, or that piece of chocolate that I have after dinner, I look forward to viewing and then reviewing the “Twin Peak” series for Biff Bam Pop!. The characters on the show are more like family to me and, if you ever met my family, you’d understand. Last episode, the giant returned. This episode, Agent Cooper talks Buddha to Albert.

Albert

I feel for Albert. He’s a ‘by the book’ type of agent and, he just doesn’t get Cooper’s constant comparing of Tibetan culture to the crime that needs to be solved. It’s like comparing myna birds to coconuts. Cooper tells him that Ronette is awake from her coma, but she’s not talking, so he’s going to show her a picture of Bob and Leo.

Albert wants to know if anyone has seen Bob visiting earth in the last week. I love this guy. Why should Cooper have all the fun of being weird? Albert gives his report on Jacque Renault’s stomach contents: beer cans, a Maryland license plate, half a bicycle tire, a goat and, a small wooden puppet named Pinocchio. Score one for Albert. Cooper likes a good joke.

Albert is fed up with the ineptness of the town and also warns Cooper that his former partner, Windom Earle has escaped from the nut house. This is the first time I’ve seen Cooper looking scared. What’s the scoop on Earle?

A scene from the original “Honeymooners” came to mind when I watched the antics of Cooper and Harry’s visit to Ronette. Half the time there was wasted on trying to get the chairs to the right height. Cooper was getting all Ed Norton (Art Carney) on the damn chair. When they finally show Ronette the sketch of Bob, she freaks out.

Mr. Smith

Donna is doing her meals on wheels program and even the shut-ins in that town are freaking strange. Donna’s first stop is to a woman who hates creamed corn. Her young grandson is dressed in a tux, does magic tricks and talks in riddles, but if Donna wants to learn more about Laura, she’ll have to talk to Mr. Smith. He never leaves his house.

Pigs, Logs and, Andy

Two ledgers and one smoked cheese pig. Which one do we burn and it won’t be the pig. The brothers Grimm make plans for the Mill’s insurance, but in the end, they decide to toast marshmallows instead. Ben finally calls the sheriff to tell him that Audrey is missing. Ben is such a pig. His daughter has been missing for two days. We see none of the stress that a loving father would exhibit. Ben is more concerned with the potential loss of a rich client. Does Audrey’s mom realize that her daughter hasn’t been around for a few days? Leland’s preemptive call to Iceland has placed him in the dog house with Ben.

Log Lady visits the dinner and is scolded by Norma for sticking her chewing gum on the walls and tables. When I was a kid, I used to stick my gum on the underside of my dinner plate while I ate and often got lectured for doing so and, with nine grandkids, I’ve found gum stuck in every nook and cranny. Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight? Here is my favorite version of the song by Sha Na Na

While log lady chews her gum, the log gives Major Briggs a message. I love when Andy is in a scene. He may be dumber than a door knob, but he knows that he’s not the daddy of Lucy’s baby. He’s sterile. Lucy has some explaining to do.

Conclusion

I’ve heard the talk that season two wasn’t as good as season one, but I’m coming at this show twenty-five years late and with a different perspective. I had the opportunity of reading Andy Burns’ book before watching the series. I came to the table already knowing the inside jokes. Where other people see a weaker second season script, I see sharp wit and paradoxes. Lynch and Frost were deliberately setting up the fans each week only to have the rug pulled from under them.

Yes, this series was about murder, prostitution, drugs and gambling, but it was also funny. I think some fans were so focused on the horror aspects of the show that they forgot to laugh at the punch lines. Life is funny, but more so during a disaster. People do and say stupid things when they’re afraid.

The log lady, Andy, Lucy, Albert and even Leland, all remind me of real people that I’ve met on my journey through life. They all had their quirks and, a story to tell. Lynch even used the music as a character for the series. Badalamenti’s music was cool, hip and wove its way through the scenes like a snake on a mission; from one screw up to another.

So what did we learn on this episode? Audrey learns that daddy dearest is the owner of One Eyed Jacks, Hank used to be a Bookhouse Boy, Leo is a vegetable, Windom Earle has escaped the looney bin, Bob likes to scare the girls and, Major Briggs has received a message from outer space. The owls are not what they seem and, the aliens know about Cooper.

Where is Fox Mulder when we need him? I don’t know about you, but I’m enjoying season two right now. See you next week and watch where you stick you gum.

The log knows all! On the last episode of “Twin Peaks,” Cooper is told about his ex-partner’s escape and, Major Briggs received a message about Cooper from outer space. Twin Peaks is the Bermuda Triangle of television series. What makes “Twin Peaks” cool? Grab your coffee and follow me.

Ronette

This episode opens with Cooper, Harry and Albert wondering who tried to kill Ronette as she lay in her hospital bed in one of the most dysfunctional hospitals in the world. While Cooper pulls a clue from her fingernail, Albert notices something strange about the IV bag. There are plenty of strange things going on at that hospital.

It was at this moment that I glimpsed, if just for a second, the genius that lurks inside David Lynch’s mind. Lynch tricks us into thinking we are watching a normal series where the storyline revolves around human characters. Like a well-executed illusion, Lynch continually keeps us distracted from the real story. What is the real story? The town itself is the main character; everyone else is secondary.

Let’s start with the hospital. We already knew that something was very wrong with the hospital after seeing the food. Even though the doctors complained about the lousy food being served to their patients, the green bubbling gruel, which looked like the toxic waste you’d get from fracking, continued to be served. Even more sinister a fact is that the crap was also given to the shut-ins of the town. Thankfully, by the time Donna is working for Meals on Wheels, the quality of the food had improved.

I worked in a hospital during the early seventies. I was the Unit clerk for the Intensive Care Unit and later the secretary for the Operating Room Supervisor.  Our patients would have tossed the whole tray at us if we ever served food like that. Yeah, hospital food can be bland and unexciting, but it shouldn’t glow in the dark.

There were many clues as to the craziness of the town, like the dyed IV fluids dripping into Ronette’s veins. Albert took notice of this right away. Why didn’t Dr. Hayward pick up on this? Speaking of weird stuff happening at hospitals, I wasn’t too surprised with Jacoby’s hospital room being decorated like a tropical vacation spot. In the fifteen years that I was an employee at the hospital, there were a few occasions when one of our resident doctors needed medical or surgical intervention and were forced into the role of patient. Being a doctor on staff meant that you received the best food and, a room that resembled a suite from the Four Seasons Hotel.

Albert

Albert’s disdain of the town and his comical wisecracks to those around him, drive home the point that he may be one of the few stable minded people on the show. He has to be wary because Cooper may have been taken over by the “Twin Peaks” version of the body snatchers. With Cooper’s mind already open to mystical beliefs, the conversion was quick. Cooper’s mention of the giant and the giant’s clues brings forth a slam dunk reply from Albert, “Any relation to the dwarf?” Albert’s brilliant use of sarcasm is the one of the best things about the show. Miguel Ferrer is the perfect man to play the sarcastic special agent. His timing is right on.

Secondary Characters

Donna finally meets Harold Smith (Lenny Von Dohlen). He raises orchids. This is a strange man who refuses to leave his home. Is he a vampire? Maybe Harold suffers from agoraphobia. This is a crippling disorder where people are afraid to leave their homes. The bigger question is why does Harold Smith have possession of Laura’s real diary?

Lucy is such a sweetheart that you overlook her quirks. Kimmy Robertson plays her Lucy as the triangle in a room full of circles and squares. Lucy is part of the “Twin Peaks” world, and yet, she is a red herring. Lucy’s cluelessness is used to distract us from what is really happening. How did Lucy meet Dick Tremayne (Ian Buchanan)? Dick is a smart dresser, a designer of men’s clothing, has a British accent and, eats his food the European way. Why would he date Lucy? Would Lucy allow herself to be swept so easily off her feet? Like I said, Lucy is a red herring who got herself pregnant by a not so charming dick.

Conclusion

Twin Peaks is sick. Its disease spreads easily. Everyone in that town has secrets, some darker than others. Maddie knows that Donna loves James, but she still flirts with the boy. Shelly refuses to testify against her husband because she has plans for the insurance money.  The one-armed man, Gerard, knows bad things about Bob, but he uses drugs to forget. His forgotten syringe is the third clue from the giant. Nadine awakes from her coma thinking she is only eighteen years old which makes Ed, a bigger prisoner to her madness than he was before.

Audrey is the pawn in a scheme that Blackie, Jean Renault and Emory use to get ransom money from Ben Horne. What they don’t realize is that Ben is too corrupt to give a shit about Audrey and that is a big shame because Audrey is the only normal person in town. Sure, she plays the sex kitten, but Audrey only wants to do what’s right for Laura and the town.

Yep, the town of Twin Peaks is the main character in this series, but everything revolves around Bob and Leland. What part do they play in this madness? Leland tells Cooper, Harry and Hawke that he knows Bob from his childhood. Bob was a neighbor of Leland’s grandfather. Bob lived in a white house. Bob had a habit of flicking matches at little Leland. “Want to play with fire, little boy?”

While Donna visits Laura’s grave, Jean Renault makes plans to kill Cooper and Leland is arrested for murdering Jacque Renault. Who is the Asian man that follows Cooper? Could it be Windom Earle in disguise?  There is only one place to get that answer. The log knows all!

Secrets within secrets can drive a person batty. On last the last episode of “Twin Peaks,” we learn that Harold Smith had Laura’s real diary. This week, Ben asks Cooper to save Audrey and, Twin Peaks has a mysterious guest.

Down Time

Once a week, I lock myself in my office and tell my husband that I will not be accepting any calls. I wish I had more time for this series, but between getting the second book of the Roof Oasis series published, working on my paranormal activities and, babysitting my grandkids; downtime is erratic. But, I do my best to put my busy schedule aside for “Twin Peaks” because I truly love the show. “Twin Peaks” to me is like that last piece of Godiva chocolate that you nibble on, ever so slowly, because you want the taste to last forever.

I think some of Biff Bam Pop’s readers believe the “Twin Peaks” series is old stuff because they’ve already seen this series when it first premiered in 1990, but the recaps that I do each week give a different slant. I did not watch “Twin Peaks” when it premiered, but that revelation really doesn’t matter because over the last twenty-five years since “Twin Peaks” first premiered, I’ve seen my own share of weird shows.

Plus, I’ve read Andy Burns’ book, Wrapped in Plastic: Twin Peaks. Going with Andy’s retrospect of the series, I hesitantly entered a world he loved enough to write about. I fell in love with the town and the characters of Twin Peaks. It’s a world that I can relate to and maybe, it’s because of my eccentric childhood and the fact that I can communicate with ghosts, that I’m most comfortable with the bohemian and bizarre antics of “Twin Peaks.”

Leland

I love the way this episode starts. You hear a child’s voice calling for her daddy and then the camera slowly zooms away from the ceiling and onto Leland who is being interrogated about his part in Jacque’s death. David Lynch’s use of the camera adds a weird element to an already weird story. The camera becomes our periscope. We are on a submarine and we can only surmise what is taking place by what we see through the lens.

Leland tells Cooper and Harry that he killed Jacque because Jacque killed Laura. His crocodile tears don’t move me, but they do mislead Doc Hayward. Harry tells Cooper that there are no records of a Robertson living at Pearl Lakes. On this bit of news, I’m going to side with Leland. His memory of Bob flicking cigarettes at him is too vivid for Leland to make up. This man frightened the young Leland. What else did Bob do to Leland?

Our attention is quickly diverted by Andy’s wanting another sperm test done. In case you forgot, Andy has lazy sperm and doesn’t think he’s the daddy of Lucy’s baby. Doctor Hayward basically tells Andy to rush the job, forcing Andy to use one of the Flesh World magazines to deliver. Are you allowed to use police evidence for that? I love the klutzy Andy. He never disappoints in his weekly deliverance of comedic relief, but when Andy drops his specimen, Cooper notices the boots. It’s time to find Gerard.

Undercover Critic

No one knows who or what M.T. Wentz looks like especially since this critic travels incognito, but everyone is excited about Wentz making the town of Twin Peaks famous? Even jail bird Hank is excited. He runs off to buy table covers, flowers and candles. Shouldn’t Norma be the one doing this?

Ben finally shows some concern for his missing child when Jean Renault shows him the tape of Audrey. Jean tells Ben that he’s only the middle man, but the kidnappers want 25,000 to be delivered by Agent Cooper. Ben calls in Cooper, but you know that Audrey is not the main concern. Ben doesn’t like being blackmailed. The dirt bag of a father plays on Cooper’s attraction to Audrey to get Cooper to deliver the cash to the kidnappers.

Our little Audrey has been drugged and manhandled by Emory. I guess about now she is wondering why Cooper hasn’t saved her yet. This whole time, she’s never asked for her father. Audrey may be young but she’s smart enough to know that her safety is Ben’s least concern. Talk about dysfunctional families. If Audrey hasn’t already realized that she’s expendable, Jean Renault’s (Michael Parks) killing Emory should remove all doubts.

Diary

How many freaking diaries did Laura keep? Was she writing an essay? Are there more diaries? Why did Laura give Harold Smith her diary? Was he the only one she could trust with her dark secrets? There is something very strange about Harold. His refusal to turn over the diary during a murder investigation and, his reading the diary to Donna is downright creepy. Why Donna confides in Maddie about the diary and not the police shows me that these kids are not taking Laura’s murder seriously enough. There were enough hints in just that one passage Harold Smith read to Donna to reveal a lot about Laura. This was a young girl who was quite familiar with a man’s sexual appetite. Who taught her?

Conclusion

Cooper is walking into a trap. With our periscope aimed at the town, we can see the events unfolding. We can’t shout out a warning, but there’s no need. Cooper is a smart agent. He knows something is fishy and because he does, he asked for help. Luckily for Cooper, it is Harry who volunteers to play sidekick and deliver the ransom money and save Audrey. Harry is a good man and he’s a trustworthy friend, but when it comes to women; he is clueless. Josie can sweet talk her way out of any questions Harry asks her, but she’ devious enough to also use her body. While Josie and Harry get hot and heavy on the sofa, someone is watching them.

Cooper tried to play cupid; tried to get Lucy to explain why she’s so pissed at Andy. Lucy tried to explain her angst by telling Cooper how Andy gets on her last nerve or about her disappointment with Dick Tremayne, but Cooper can’t see what we see. Lucy is scared. She is pregnant and living in a town that loves gossip. How will her coworkers treat the news of the baby? Harry’s remark in which he compares Lucy’s rants to that of fixing pot holes is one hell of an eye opener. Dick Tremayne’s quick solution to an embarrassing problem hits home just how alone Lucy is in a department full of men.

We get to meet Judge Sternwood. The Judge talks to Leland…blah, blah, blah and something about Valhalla. The end result is that Leland will have to wait until morning for bail, but he has the judge’s permission to defend himself. When we meet Sid, the law clerk, who is also the judge’s sidekick, we see why the old coot can act all philosophical with Leland.

All kinds of strangers are showing up in town. Hank swipes a stranger’s wallet to check if he’s the famous critic and, Josie introduces the Asian man, that’s been lurking in the background, as her cousin Jonathan to Pete. We learn a few things about Jonathan: he’s a peeping tom; Pete might be in danger and, Jonathan demonstrates Kung Fu on Hank.

As we lower our periscope and head back to sea, we see a particularly curious visitor getting a room at the Great Northern Lodge. That mustache and wig ain’t fooling me. Mr. Tajamura is no other than Catherine Martell in disguise. What is this little vixen up to and, how will she get even? I need some more chocolate.

Holy Multiple Plots!  In this episode of “Twin Peaks,” a mysterious visitor drops in at the Great Northern Lodge. Will Mr. Tajamura pull the wool over the rascally Ben Horne’s greedy eyes? Will Donna steal Laura’s diary from Harold? Hang on to your gavel and meet me at the courthouse.

Gum Drops and Ear Plugs

Cooper is blabbering on his recorder about eating gum drops to the still unseen, saintly secretary, Diane. Cooper is disappointed to learn that his dream gum drops were ear plugs; double gross out. But, it’s nothing that a hand-stand won’t cure. You never know what you’ll find under a hotel bed, but luckily for Cooper, he finds Audrey’s note.

Lucy tells Harry that she is temporarily leaving town to visit family. If I were Lucy, I’d worry about the status of my job if my employer seemed that happy to see me go. Harry practically shoved Lucy out the door. With the ongoing drama about Lucy’s pregnancy and Andy’s sperm, we finally get the test results for Andy. Can you say, “Oligospermia?” Andy’s sperm has gone from status “three men on a fishing trip” to “a whole damn town.” I love Andy. He’s dumber than shit, but he is so lovable. I can totally relate to the scene where Andy is covered in post-it slips. That’s what I look like when I’m formatting my manuscripts. When Andy calls the emergency number left by Lucy, he reaches an abortion clinic. Can you say, “Should have worn a condom?”

Bobby and Shelly test drive the patient lift and wheelchair for when Leo comes home and, guess who the salesman is? I loved David L. Lander when he played Squiggy on the “Laverne and Shirley” series and he is just as funny playing the slick, Tim Pinkle. Shelly and Bobbie are out for Leo’s insurance money, but they’ll have to care for him at home. Watching Bobbie and Tim’s antics working the patient lift was hilarious, but when you’re taking care of a loved one at home; it’s no laughing matter and you better pray that your insurance policy covers medical equipment.

Justice

Even the court in the wacky town of Twin Peaks is a joke, and to prove it, we only have to observe Andy doing his own version of court room sketches. The judge allows Leland to go home until the trial, but the second case on the docket has a doctor explaining to the court why a comatose man can’t stand trial. The prosecutor disagrees. Thank goodness the court is held in a bar because when the judge calls for recess, it’s only a few feet away to a cool drink. I have a feeling that Judge Judy would have thrown this Judge Sternwood in jail. Luckily for Leo, his comatose condition has saved him from a murder trial.

Donna has to sit through another reading of Laura’s diary. Harold is a weird man who can’t leave the house. What’s his problem? I’m going with vampire until proven wrong. He’s a sicko that likes to read Laura’s diary for a price; Donna’s secret thoughts, which he writes down in a copybook. Donna can only bullshit Harold so long before she runs out of steamy subjects to talk about. She needs to steal that diary. She needs Maddy’s help. It’s like watching Lucy and Ethel on one of their adventures.

Nadine

I had to go back several times as I was reviewing this episode to make sure I wasn’t seeing things. But, if we weren’t already aware of Nadine’s mental state, seeing one of her knickknacks wearing an eye patch, made it quite clear how nutty she was. Nadine is home from the hospital. She’s happy as a teenager in love. That’s because the dingbat thinks she’s eighteen. Poor Ed. Something is different about Nadine. She’s acquired superhuman strength. That, my friend, is very scary.

Mr. Tajamura has an offer that Ben can’t refuse; five million dollars. Have you noticed all the people that check into the Great Northern Lodge? I don’t know what Ben charges for rooms, but it’s like the United Nations over there.

Later, Cooper listens in on the ransom call that Ben receives. Cooper takes the cash and leaves, but Ben has Hank follow him. Knowing Cooper is being set up, he tells Hank to return with Audrey and the money.

Conclusion

“Twin Peaks” is described as a serial drama, but after watching the first season and part of the second, I would have to disagree. Sure the show revolves around a serious subject matter; the rape and murder of a young girl, but there are just too many funny scenes included for this series to be listed as a drama. I think we’ll have to come up with a new description. This episode ends with Jean Renault acting like he’s 007. He has a gadget up his sleeve that will send a knife into Cooper’s heart. Luckily, he fails, but Blackie’s luck has run out. I have two sisters and we’ve had our share of sibling battles when growing up, but it takes a coldhearted bitch to want her sister killed. Blackie was betrayed by her sister and killed by her ex-lover.

Cooper and Harry make their way through One Eyed Jacks. This casino has the ugliest wallpaper in the world and never-ending hallways. Cooper finds his Audrey. I say ‘his’ Audrey because the way Cooper acts when he finds Audrey, leaves no doubt that he has feelings for the girl.

Audrey is safe, thanks to Hawk coming to the rescue. Hank is captured by Jean Renault. Harold goes bat shit crazy with a garden tool when he discovers Maddy stealing the diary. Luckily for Maddy and Donna, Harold uses the garden tool on himself. Yep, it’s just another day in Twin Peaks.

“Twin Peaks” is like a stay at an insane asylum where the shock treatments aren’t working. On last week’s episode of “Twin Peaks,” comatose Leo avoided a trial; Harold refused to part with Laura’s diary and Cooper saved Audrey. On this episode we have a special guest.

Betrayals

Maddy and Donna have totally pissed off Harold. After raking his cheek with a garden tool, Harold refused to part with the diary, even after James comes to the rescue. What I found strange about the whole diary incident is that Harry, when Donna told him about the event, wasn’t as concerned as I expected him to be. Why not?

Why would Cooper take Audrey to the Bookhouse if she’s been given a lethal dose of heroin? Did anyone think to take the kid to the hospital? Oh, wait! Now that I think of it, if we want Audrey to get better, the Twin Peaks hospital is definitely off limits.

As a woman, and a romantic, I did notice the way Cooper waited at Audrey’s side. There is a connection between the girl and the man, but Audrey is too young for our handsome agent. Too bad, because I think Cooper and Audrey would’ve made a great detective team. Think Nick and Nora Charles of the classic The Thin Man films starring William Powell and Myrna Loy.

I didn’t think it was possible to hate Ben Horne any more than I did, but when Cooper returns Ben’s suitcase, Audrey is only a secondary concern. Not even Cooper’s mention that Audrey almost died from a drug overdose gets Ben to rush to his daughter’s side. Audrey made it quite evident that she wasn’t as happy to see her father.  I don’t blame Audrey for wanting Cooper to be the one to take her home. The good news is that Cooper and Harry know that the ransom was ruse to kill Cooper.

Leo

I’ve seen suitcases handled at airports more respectfully than Bobby handles Leo’s wheelchair. Shelly and Bobby pretend that they want to care for Leo, but when the insurance agent hands over the check, the jokes on them. Welcome to the real world, kids. The health care in America sucks big time and, that measly check won’t be enough to party on.

Gordon

We finally get to meet with Cooper’s boss and it is no other than David Lynch. I’m guessing that Lynch is a big fan of Alfred Hitchcock’s cameo shots, or maybe Lynch is a control freak. I have to hand it to Lynch because his portrayal of FBI Regional Bureau Chief, Chief Gordon, is downright comical.  Lynch’s Gordon is almost completely deaf and his conversations with Harry and Cooper are executed in true Abbott and Costello fashion.

Since Albert isn’t coming back, Gordon brought back the test results: Fibers found at the scene of Cooper’s attack are from a Vicuna coat; the syringe left behind by the one arm Gerard contained some very strange drugs; papers found at the train site were from a diary. What happened between Cooper and his former partner?

Nadine

If nothing else, Wendy Robie is having a ball with her character, Nadine. I can just picture this actress showing up on the set and being handed the script. In my head, the conversation would go like this:  Lynch, “Okay, your character: has an obsession with quiet drapes; loses one eye during a freak accident on her honeymoon; her husband is having an affair with her high school rival; she downs a bottle of pills, winds up in a coma, wakes up thinking she’s a high school senior. Think you can handle this?”

Nadine was a distraction from what was happening with Josie. I never trusted Josie. She’s a con artist, who killed her husband. When Josie tells Ben that she wants her money, Ben tries to blackmail her. He has a key to the safe that holds damaging information. Josie has a bigger key and, she’s better at extortion. She walks away with a five million dollar check. Well played, Josie! Unfortunately, the only victim with this brood of vipers was Harry. This lovesick puppy never expected Josie to just up and leave.

Conclusion

Since Laura Palmer was already dead in the first episode of “Twin Peaks,” lead character, Sheryl Lee, would have had one of the shortest roles in drama series history, if the Donna character hadn’t been written into the script. Watching Maddy deal with Laura’s death was the only way we could glimpse snippets of Laura. Maddy showed us a ‘Laura’ that would have existed if she hadn’t already been the unfortunate victim of Bob through her incestuous father, Leland.

Sure, we had the video of Donna and Laura dancing and we had the diaries, but it was the Maddy character that we used as the measuring stick to learn about Laura.

Watching “Twin Peaks” for the very first time, I’m amazed with all the comedy that is featured in this series. Don’t get me wrong, I like it. Maybe it’s because I’ve always felt that my own life was one big sitcom. When a show is listed as a drama, we expect the normal tension that a drama promises to deliver: good vs. evil etc., etc., but when a drama offers heaping servings of comedy; it throws the viewer off balance. We don’t know what to expect.

I do believe that David Lynch is a closet stand-up comic.  He is “Twin Peaks” version of Jerry Seinfeld. He took the serious events of episode six: Audrey’s knowing of her father’s lack of moral conscience; Leo winding up as an insurance scam for Bobby and Shelly; Harold clinging to a dead girl’s diary; Harry losing the love of his life. These are sad topics, especially, the rift in the father daughter relationship of Audrey and Ben. But, Lynch made us see the humor hidden in the tears.

Lynch needed to lighten up the story so he made Gordon a caricature of a federal agent. Yeah, Gordon’s hearing problem is funny, especially, with all the loud talking… but Gordon cares about his agents. He knows that Cooper can get too involved and, worries when Windom Earle sends Cooper a message disguised as a chess move.

Like a juggler keeping all the balls in the air, Lynch knows how to mix drama with comedy. This is why he has Leland doing an impromptu lounge act while Ben tries to do business with Mr. Tajamura. That scene was funny, especially because we know who is under the Tajamura disguise. Lynch saved the punch line for last and he fooled us into thinking Gerard’s interrogation would also be funny.

Possession! That, my friend, is one hell of a scary word and, no one is laughing when Mike takes over Gerard and tells our crime fighters just how evil Bob is. Mike gives Cooper a clue. We need to look for a large house in the woods; the Great Northern Hotel.

Once again, Lynch leaves his viewers confused, but wasn’t that always his plan with the “Twin Peaks” series? Well played, David Lynch!

On last week’s episode of “Twin Peaks,” we met Cooper’s hard of hearing, boss, Gordon Cole. David Lynch played this character just as I expected him to do, and this is why I love the show so much. This week our gang heads out to the Great Northern and Maddy makes plans to go home.

Road Trip

Gerard’s tip about the Great Northern has the FBI and the Sheriff’s Department on the hunt for the killer, but before we head to the lodge, let’s drink a cup of coffee and say farewell to Gordon. While Gerard sits dazed inside the lobby of the Great Northern, the United States Navy is playing with their balls. Seriously! Why is the navy in the lobby of the Great Northern Lodge and why are they bouncing tennis balls? We don’t have a freaking clue because Gerard picks that moment to have a seizure.

Harold Smith gets a visit from Hawk, but it’s too late for an interrogation. Harold has become a hanging plant. I guess he really was distraught over Donna’s attempt to steal the diary. Cooper finds a note on Harold’s body. Harold was truly a lonely soul, but thankfully, he left behind the diary.

Bobby and Shelly work over their finances as Leo ‘the vegetable’ sits at the table. Bobby is missing lots of school and Shelly is upset that they only have forty-two dollars for the month.  Money is one of the biggest reasons that most couples break up and Bobby and Shelly are showing the strain.

Lynch, who directed this episode and Mark Frost, who wrote this episode like to throw in a laugh or two whenever there is an opportunity to do so and, they don’t miss a beat in this scene. Leo, although in a catatonic state, is now able to spit and babble on about new shoes. Bobby is hoping that he can get Leo to spill the beans on the location of the desperately needed money. Shelly quits her job since Leo is now her full time job and Bobby finds something hidden inside Leo’s boots?

Daddy Issues

Audrey, who in my opinion is the most interesting of all the female characters on “Twin Peaks,” has that long, overdue father and daughter talk. This is such an important scene between her and Ben for several reasons starting with her knowing that she now holds power over her father. Audrey knows everything and I do mean everything, and Ben is sweating bullets.

I can only imagine how female viewers, watching this episode, would connect with the Audrey character. It is usually during our teenage years that we begin to notice the chinks in our parents’ armor, but I think for fathers, this observation is even more critical. A father is the measuring stick a woman uses when picking out a mate. Audrey has seen her father at his most vile and sleaziest. She almost seems to be taunting Ben when she tells him that she was Prudence, the girl wearing that mask at the casino. When Ben admits that Laura not only worked at the casino, but that he slept with her, Audrey is heartbroken. She is not spared the truth of what her father is. Ben is a man that likes to sleep with underage girls. He is an arrogant pig who claims that he loved Laura.

Poor Audrey has enough sense to tell Cooper about her father. She knew what this information would do. She knew that Cooper and Harry would arrest Ben. I don’t think she cared. The young won’t let us forget our mistakes, and maybe, that is how they keep us honest.

Cooper and Harry arrest Ben just as he’s closing the deal with Mr. Tajamura. Ben arrogant as always, tells them to go away. They don’t. There is good news for Pete. Mr. Tajamura reveals his secret identity to Pete. Welcome home, Catherine.

Teenybopper Nadine

Everyone has to play the game. Nadine is forever eighteen and wants a milkshake. Norma, Shelly and Ed have to play along to keep Nadine happy. Poor Ed is stuck with a nutcase who has superhuman strength. Where did this strength come from? My guess is the toxic food at the hospital.

Conclusion

When the Log Lady shows up, I figured we would be in for more laughs, but she’s not bearing good news. She tells Cooper that the owls are at the Roadhouse.

The tone of this episode went from quirky and funny to downright alarming. The stage is set. Lynch has us concentrating on the spinning fan, the record that skips endlessly and Sarah Palmer crawling down the stairs of the Palmer home. We’re then made to jump back and forth from the Roadhouse to the Palmer house and all the time, the terror grows inside us. What is the significance of the white horse or the color of the dress the singer, Julee Cruise, is wearing while she belts out a song?

We see Leland primping in front of the mirror, knowing that his wife is passed out on the floor next to him. He is smiling and, the man in the mirror smiles back. Maddy is upstairs calling out for her aunt and uncle never knowing that it is BOB who waits for her. Frank Silva, for not being in that many scenes, makes the best of his BOB character during the few times that he is in front of the camera. Silva’s BOB is our worst nightmare, and BOB’s smile is that of a shark’s.

We jump back to the Roadhouse where Donna and James are talking about Harold’s death and Maddy’s leaving. Cooper is sitting with the Log Lady, but something is wrong. You can feel the heaviness in the air and feel the tension building up in Cooper. While he observes the people in the bar: sailors; patrons; singer, everything vanishes and the giant takes the stage. We are not laughing this time. The sadness on the giant’s face warns us that this is not a happy message. “It is happening again.”

We viewers were fooled by the comedy. Lynch and Frost continually had us looking at the clownish antics while the boogeyman did his dirty deeds. Our laughter over the ball-bouncing sailors and the teenybopper Nadine vanished as quickly as Maddy’s life-force. We watched in horror as Leland/BOB attacked another innocent girl. We watched Maddy fight for her life and lose, as we know her cousin Laura did. We saw the bogeyman for what he really is; a monster disguised as a family member.

Do you remember that crazy old waiter from “May the Giant Be With You” from season two? He was at the Roadhouse, too. This time, he made perfect sense. This time, he said what needed to be said when a young person dies at the hands of a monster. “I’m so sorry.”

We are too. RIP, Maddy.

Sometimes, the monster is someone you know. Sometimes, the monster stares at you from the mirror. On last week’s episode of “Twin Peaks,” The giant gave the warning, but it was too late. Maddy met BOB and no one heard her screams.

Leland

We hear the screams coming from the Palmer house. We know what is happening, but when the camera closes in on the Palmer home, Leland is busy practicing his golf swings. Golf balls are all over the living room and Leland is behaving as though nothing sinister ever happened. A young girl has lost her life. When Donna and James come to say goodbye to Maddy, Leland tells them that she’d already left for the bus. Even Sarah acts as if nothing happened which confirms what we already knew. Leland drugged Sarah. The monster is all smiles as he chats with the kids, but the mirror never lies and we know that Bob is in control. Where has he hidden Maddy’s body? Maddy’s tomb for now is a golf bag.

Leland is no longer funny. We see him for what he is and the dance routines that made us laugh on season one, now make us shiver. Is Leland a sociopath? All he wants to do is dance. He shows no regrets or guilt over killing Laura and Maddy. What was it about Leland that made it so easy for BOB to possess him? Didn’t Sarah ever question Leland’s strange behavior? Did she know what he was doing to Laura? Leland is able to trick everyone into thinking his weird behavior is due to his grief; almost everyone.

Jerry visits Ben at the jail. Jerry is Ben’s lawyer, but he has doubts. When you’re a snake in the grass, it’s hard to get the other snakes to believe in your innocence. Jerry asks Ben where he was on the night of Laura’s murder. With Catherine dead, Ben has no alibi. The brothers talk about their teen years, bunk beds, and a babysitter dancing with her flashlight.

Ben is prodded and poked for forensic evidence. When Jerry spews out some legal mumbo jumbo, Cooper sets him in his place, then pulls out the diary and reads from it. Ben can’t talk his way out of this mess. Jerry suggests that Ben might need a better lawyer. You think?

Lucy is back and Andy faints. But I don’t want to talk about them. I want to talk about the quiet deputy. I love how Hawk just shrugs off all the foolishness that goes on at that police station. Michael Horse’s character, Deputy Tommy Hawk Hill, keeps his cool while everyone else is falling apart. He is the perfect lawman, but he’s surrounded by bizarre people like Andy, Lucy, and even, Cooper. If anything ever happened to Harry, Hawk should take over as sheriff.

Speaking of bizarre people, Cooper and Harry catch Leland doing an impromptu lounge act in the center of a busy hotel lobby with his golf club. Harry tells Leland that Ben has been charged with Laura’s murder. Leland does some convincing crocodile tears for the law men, but Cooper is suspicious. The madness behind the Leland’s eyes is getting harder to control and that two-step out the door sets the theme for the rest of the episode.

Bobby is listening to that he found in Leo’s boot. He knows that Ben hired Leo to burn down the saw mill. Leo, the cash cow has turned into a sinkhole, but crafty Bobby has plans. He is going to blackmail Ben. I’m not sure where the Leo story is leading us, but it’s getting boring.

Norma’s mother drops by the Double R to introduce her new husband, Ernie Niles. Vivian doesn’t know it but Hank and Ernie are friends from prison. We pick up right away that Norma and Vivian don’t have a close relationship. No hugs or kisses between the two. That wouldn’t happen in an Italian family. Italians like to hug everyone. Even the mailman gets a hug when he delivers our mail. At least Vivian likes Hank.

I’m getting tired of the Gerard character and his meaningless mumblings. So I’m not even going to mention anything about the scene, but Pete dropping by the jail to visit Ben was awesome. What better way to drop the bomb that Catherine is not only alive, but ready to make Ben’s life a living hell. Catherine will vouch for Ben, but baby, it’s going to cost him. Kudos, Catherine!

Conclusion

BOB is in complete control. BOB and Leland! I asked this question earlier. What was it about Leland’s character or lack of, that made it possible for Bob to control him? Evil can’t survive in a vacuum. It needs help. It needs people pretending that they don’t know what’s going on. Sarah had to know that her husband was sneaking into Laura’s room at night. Women know, believe me they know, and yet, Sarah did nothing.

Ben and Jerry are lower than rat shit, but they are a step above Leland. Didn’t they suspect their partner of evil acts? Actor Ray Wise has had to play two characters over the two seasons. When Ray does Leland as the bereaved father, who turns into Fred Astaire at the drop of a hat, he is brilliant. When Ray does the Leland/BOB character, he is freaking scary.

Ray Wise’s BOB is the ultimate boogeyman. When Harry and Cooper pull Leland/BOB over for his careless driving, it’s evident that BOB isn’t afraid of the law. If Leland’s arrested, all BOB has to do is find a new host. Maybe, that’s why Leland/BOB looked about ready to swing that club at Cooper’s head. BOB had nothing to lose.

While Cooper is recording a message to Diane, there is a knock on the door. It’s Audrey. She wants to know if Cooper arrested her father. She seems relieved. Audrey is such a sweet soul. She was worried about her reputation. Audrey had always played the wild child, but in truth, she is still an innocent. She tells Cooper that no man touched her while she was at One Eyed Jacks. Before he can reply, Cooper gets a call. He tells Audrey to go to her room and lock the door.

A body is found. It’s Maddy.  She’s wrapped in plastic.

Trivia Time: How many times did Sheryl Lee play a dead body wrapped in plastic?

Did you guess the answer to the trivia question from last week’s episode of “Twin Peaks“? How many times did Sheryl Lee play a dead body wrapped in plastic? The answer is three: in the pilot episode, our last episode, and the 1992 theatrical film Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me. On last week’s episode: Ben’s a jailbird; Lucy returns; Pete blackmails; Maddy is wrapped in plastic, and we meet the monster; one dance step at a time.

Discovery

The sunny day and the pleasant sounds of birds chirping, only adds to the horror as Albert tells Harry and the others what he found under Maddy’s fingernail. Cooper tells Harry that he wants 24 hours to solve the crime. Albert tells Cooper to go for it, but Cooper doesn’t know where to start. Hawk tells Cooper that he’s on the right path, just follow it. I noticed that Albert isn’t cutting up the town in this episode, not after another child had been terminated.

Mother Issues

We’re distracted from the somber crime scene with a trip to the Double R where Vivian is acting like a caustic food critic. Poor Norma can never do anything right for her mom. Vivian’s critiquing of Norma’s cooking reminded me of my own mother on one of her visits from California, I was making dinner for the family and she kept insisting that I was making the gravy all wrong. Mind you, I’d been married and cooking for over thirty years. For you non-Italians, gravy is spaghetti sauce. Like Vivian and Norma, our conversations went something like this:

Mom: “That’s not the way to make gravy.”

Me: “What’s wrong with the way I’m making it?”

Mom: “You’re doing it wrong.”

Me: “But, everyone likes it this way.”

Mom: “What do they know?” My mother ate two servings that night while telling everyone her gravy was much better.

Donna

James gives Donna a promise ring while they’re at the diner. Do the kids still do that today? Andy’s repeating in French, “I am a lonely soul,” sends Donna to Cooper, but when they visit Mrs. Tremond, there is another woman in that home who claims that her mother died three years ago.

This woman doesn’t have children, but she does have a letter from Harold which contains pages from Laura’s diary. The pages describe the night that Cooper found himself inside the Red Room, but this time it’s from Laura’s memory of the dream. She describes talking to an older Cooper and whispering into his ear, the name of the killer. Cooper is starting to remember what she told him.

Okay, last week I said I was getting bored with the Gerard character. I might have spoken too soon. It seems that Mike, Gerard’s alter ego, might have some clues. Although, Gerard is in and out of consciousness, Mike tells Cooper that he and BOB had the perfect relationship; appetite, satisfaction and a golden circle. Is it Cooper’s ring? He gave the ring to the giant. Mike tells Cooper that the giant is real.

Poor Cooper! The clues don’t make sense and he’s more confused than ever, but luckily our crazy waiter gives him another clue. Harry, Albert and Cooper go through Ben’s office where the sorry looking, stuffed fox is on display. Ben’s blood results come back.

While Lucy, Andy and Dick talk about babies, Catherine, still dressed as Mr. Tajamura, visits Ben. I don’t think Catherine expected Ben to be so happy to see her, or that he was willing to sign everything over to her. Catherine outfoxed the fox.

Monsters

Donna stops by Leland’s home to forward a tape to Maddy. When Donna then tells Leland that Cooper has the real secret diary, you could see the wheels turning inside his head, or should I say, BOB’s. Was it Laura’s sunglasses? Was it the mention of the diary? It doesn’t matter. We sit in shock as Leland makes his plans to kill again. After serving lemonade, Leland starts dancing with Donna. She’s uncomfortable, but he’s the adult and he wouldn’t hurt her. Would he? Did you scream out for Donna to run?

Conclusion

I could understand why David Lynch and Mark Frost thought it important to include so much comedy in what was really a horror series. The comedy smoothed over the jagged edges of the main story; incest. Leland had been raping his daughter for a very long time; it most likely begun when she reached puberty. Children look to parents for love and protection, but when a parent withholds or abuses their power, they are worse than any boogeyman in all the horror books in the world.

A daughter looks to a father as her knight in shining armor. He is the measuring stick by which she’ll pick a mate, but when that same father, that she idolizes, begins to degrade and abuse her; the results are catastrophic. I don’t care how much psychotherapy they later receive, the truth is that the child, be it female or male, will believe that they caused the abuse. Abusers know this and they feed off the victim’s insecurities and fear. Laura was stronger than her father. She fought off BOB’s attempt to possess her and when she thought that he would win her soul, she beat BOB by dying. Leland was possessed by BOB, that we know, but I’m saying that Leland was just as guilty as BOB, if not more so.

At first, I didn’t understand why Ben was taken to the roadhouse or why Cooper felt the need to have Leland, Bobby, Leo, Ed, Major Briggs and the crazy waiter there. But, Lynch wanted us to be witness to the big reveal. There were little nudges given to the viewers like: the waiter telling Leland that the gum he’s chewing will come back in style, or the giant appearing and giving the ring back to Cooper. Magic was happening in that place and, that magic helped Cooper remember what Laura whispered into his ear.

Ben returning to jail was all a ruse to trick Leland. It was the only way Harry and Cooper could safely confine the monster. After the cell door is opened, Leland, thinking he‘s acting as Ben’s attorney, is shoved inside and the door is locked. BOB goes ballistic. This is what possession looks like. With Leland in jail, BOB will need to find a new host because that is what demons do. They travel the world looking for souls to corrupt.

I was wondering what the fire sprinkler system and Dick’s meeting with Lucy and Andy had to do with the story, but Dick was blowing cigarette smoke towards the smoke alarm. Did he do this unconsciously or did something whisper into his ear? During the sprinkler downpour, Leland rams his head into the wall hard enough to crack his skull. Leland is dying and Cooper tells the now penitent father to go towards the light. Ray Wise was amazing in this episode, but we are left to ponder the whereabouts of BOB. Where is he? We’ll need to ask the owl.

Trivia Question: When did the cast learn of the killer’s identity?

On the last episode of “Twin Peaks,” Leland was finally identified and charged as Laura’s killer. But, if we were following the clues given by the giant, we already knew. How could we not know when Leland’s mask was constantly slipping; allowing us to peek at BOB. This episode we have a wake to attend.

Sarah

The scene opens with a view of the woods. It is three days later and Dr. Hayward is trying to give Sarah an injection to calm her for Leland’s funeral. Cooper tells Sarah that there are dark and dangerous things in the world and that Leland became BOB’s victim when he was a young boy. Why is Cooper sugarcoating what Leland did?

How would you feel, as a mother, to learn that your husband may have been drugging you for years just so he could molest your young daughter? Why is Sarah even having a funeral for Leland? I don’t care if he confessed and said he was sorry. Screw that! If I was Sarah, I would have thrown Leland’s body into the city dump and let the rats take care of his funeral.

Sure, Leland was under BOB’s control, but he had free will. BOB was able to possess Leland because Leland let him in. I’m all for forgiving a sinner, except when a child is involved. We really owe Ray Wise our gratitude for this show’s success. Ray Wise’s character was the perfect nemesis for Agent Cooper’s knight in shining armor. Ray was able to make us laugh even though we suspected that he was the boogeyman. That, my friend, is great acting.

We skip over the funeral and go right into the wake at the Palmer home. There is plenty of food and it seems the whole stinking town showed up. Makes you wonder what type of people we’re dealing with, right? Donna tells Ed that the whole town is falling apart and that James blames himself for Laura and Donna’s death. Cooper is sad to leave Twin Peaks and Major Briggs invites Cooper on a fishing trip. We still have our comedic moments with Mayor Milford and brother Dougie. These old coots reminded me of the “Muppet Show” characters, Statler and Waldorf with their squabbling.

Nadine

And then, we have crazy Nadine, who is wearing patent leather shoes and worried about people seeing her panties.This scene was funny because it reminded me of my high school days. I went to an all-girls-Catholic-high-school. Every Saturday night, the all-boys-Catholic-high-school hosted dances. The girls were forbidden to wear shiny shoes. I kid you not! And, when we slowed danced, a priest would walk around and make sure there was sufficient space between dance partners. I guess Nadine will be filling in the void left by Leland because Ed and Dr. Jacoby enroll our little nut case into high school. Apparently, Nadine’s super strength makes her a big hit with the cheerleaders.

Audrey comes to say goodbye. Cooper saved her life, but she’s too young and he won’t take the hint. He’s afraid of hurting Audrey. The last woman he loved was a material witness to a federal crime. She died in his arms and Cooper was badly injured and his partner, Windom Earle, lost his mind. Audrey will settle for friendship, but she reminds him that she’s growing up and he’d better watch out.

Bobby wants to move up in the world by blackmailing Ben Horn. Shelly is stuck taking care of Leo and she’s not a happy camper. Audrey gets Bobby in to see daddy, but after Bobby is thrown out, the two kids go for ice cream.

I’m Back!

When Catherine shows up in Harry’s office and he says, “Excuse me, but aren’t you dead?” I cracked up. This show is crazy. Catherine claims she hid in a summer cabin while surviving on canned food. When Harry asks, “What made you come back?” She says, “I ran out of tuna fish.” I’m glad Lynch and Frost were keeping the comedy going in the show like the scene with Dick, Lucy and Andy all discussing the baby while standing on a ladder.

Conclusion

Everything about this episode was okay, slow, but okay. There were some unexpected surprises: Norma’s mother revealing she’s MT Wents the food critic; seeing the comatose Leo move the wheelchair; Hank, Ernie and Renault scheming against Cooper; Josie comes back to Harry.

What I didn’t like about this episode was the unexplainable reason for Cooper’s suspension. Special Agent Roger Hardy, accompanied by a Canadian Mountie suspended Cooper without pay for crossing the border to save Audrey? Why write this stupid plot into the script. Cooper saved a kidnapped girl and broke up a prostitution ring. He was accompanied by local lawmen. None of this made sense, unless David Lynch needed a reason to keep Cooper in Twin Peaks, but even then, it made no sense. Harry’s rebuttal to the asinine charges echoed my feelings about the whole scene. Plus the Mountie and Renault are working together to frame Cooper. What?

What I did enjoy was the fishing scene with Cooper and Major Briggs. While sitting around a campfire, Briggs and Cooper talk about Bob. Briggs asks Cooper if he had heard of the White Lodge. It’s too bad that Cooper picked that moment to take a pee, because whatever was in the woods took the Major and, I don’t think it was an alien abduction.

I didn’t forget the Trivia Question: When did the cast learn of the killer’s identity?

Answer: I went to Andy Burns, Biff Bam Pop’s fearless leader and the author of Wrapped in Plastic; Twin Peaks. This is what he had to say: “I believe the actors who played Laura, Ben, BOB and Leland only found out the day of shooting.”

On the last episode of “Twin Peaks,” Renault was itching to frame Cooper with the help of a Canadian Mountie and Hank. Major Briggs vanished in the woods and Josie is back. Maybe we can get Nadine to cheer us up in this episode.

WTF

James is all Jimmy Dean on that bike. Did he just drop out of school? Is this just teen angst? I have to say that I really love the music and consider it to be its own entity on the show because it just sets the mood for every scene. James meets a woman at a bar.

She needs her husband’s car fixed. Evelyn happened to drive hubby’s jaguar into a ditch; Ouch! Does anyone else suspect that this lady is a cougar who’s hitting on a kid? James works on the car and Evelyn Marsh gives him room and board and, God only knows what else. What is with these older people going after kids?

Investigation

Cooper and Harry speak to Betty Briggs and she tells them something very interesting. Major Briggs disappeared before, but those events were related to a top secret investigation. Her hubby was always talking about the things that lived in the woods. When Cooper and Harry try to learn more about these investigations, Mrs. Briggs hits the lawmen with the old “It’s classified,” song and dance. Cooper already knew about the underlining evil that saturates Twin Peaks, but now, the only man with possible clues into BOB’s history is gone.

Cooper and Harry are interrupted by Andy and Hawk who’ve returned with a gift for the Milford wedding. Cooper gets a call from Gordon who is giving him his undying support even if Cooper is being investigated for a double homicide, stolen drugs, storming a whore house. There is a DEA agent coming to town, Dennis Bryson, will be checking out the drug angle.

Now, this is the part that just doesn’t make any sense at all. Why is Cooper being investigated and why isn’t Renault in jail for killing Blackie? I feel like I went through a wormhole and into an alternate universe of Twin Peaks. Didn’t Agent Roger Hardy read the police reports? When Cooper tries to explain his actions, in his usual Guru manner, Roger’s comeback is, “You need a full psychological workup and, you’re still suspended from your duties. Screw you, Agent Hardy.

White Lodge

When Cooper asks Harry and Hawk about the White Lodge, it brings out an unexpected reaction from the deputy. The White Lodge holds the spirits who rule people and nature, while the Black Lodge is the shadow self of the White Lodge. Every spirit must pass through the Black Lodge on their journey towards perfection and, this is where souls meet their shadow selves. If a person enters the Black Lodge with imperfect courage, they’re toast.

So, are the Black Lodge and White Lodge haunted places? There are reports of places: homes, hotels and the land itself being haunted.  People who deal in ghost investigations will tell you that there is definitely a difference in the atmosphere of homes that have evil spirits residing in them. Have you ever entered a home where you felt uncomfortable or even ill as soon as you stepped inside, or maybe, even as you stood on the path leading to the house? That house is packing evil vibes and you should keep far away from it. I’m guessing this is what the Black Lodge is like.

Nadine

Nadine is her usual perky, crazy, self and, she’s having a blast reliving high school again. She wants to date Mike. Donna gives her the go ahead, but reminds Nadine that she should be hanging out with Ed. Nadine’s explanation is hilarious, but strangely true. Ed is an old fuddy duddy who likes to stay home and Mike is young. Nadine tries flirting with Mike by lifting 600 pounds of metal like it weighed no more than a feather. Although Mike was not impressed, the coach signs her up for the wrestling team. I’m surprised that everyone is accepting this super human strength without questions.

And, let’s not forget about the Lucy triangle. Dick brings little Nicky in for a visit. Nicky is from a home for boys, but since Lucy is helping with the wedding. Andy offers to go for ice cream with them. Nicky is a spoiled brat who should be introduced to Supernanny. The little scene playing out between Hank, Ernie and Norma was just a way to show us that Hank has become Renault’s right hand man.

Josie

What is Josie’s story and when isn’t she lying? Josie is staying with Harry for now, but Harry wants the truth. She worked for a man in Hong Kong named Thomas Eckhardt. He found her on the streets and taught her about business, but he was also her lover. Then, she met Andrew. It’s about time she told Harry that Jonathan is not her cousin. Did I mention that I’m really tired of the Josie story?

Bryson

Bryson arrives and Dennis is now Denise and it is no other than Fox Mulder. I’m sorry, but David Duchovny will always be Fox Mulder of the “The X-Files” for me. I love Cooper for having such an open mind with his friend. Denise is also staying at the Great Northern and he wants to tell Cooper all about his new life.

I hadn’t realized that the subject of transgender would be allowed on national television at the time this episode premiered, but then again, Lynch and Frost were way ahead of the curve and had already featured one big taboo subject on this show. With the Supreme Court’s recent ruling on same-sex marriages, I’m hoping that people will become more understanding of all the genders that exist. One of my granddaughters is going through this right now and we all support her.

Ben Horne

Ben is watching old family tapes of him, his brother and dad and the start of the hotel when Hank shows up. Ben wants to know why Catherine is still alive. Ben’s had a tough week. He was suspected of Laura’s murder until Leland stepped up to the plate and, he’s lost the mill and Ghostwood estates to Catherine. Hank tells Ben that he’s been kicked out of One Eyed Jacks by Renault. Ben is a mess, unshaven, disheveled and out of the easy money. Are we supposed to feel sorry for this man? I don’t, but let’s hope that he does right by his family

Chess Clues and Weddings

While Cooper receives another chess clue arrives from his former partner the whole town is partying at the latest marriage of Dougie Milford. We have to suffer through some more grumbling from the Mayor, but at least we get to see the Log Lady again. Agent Bryson tells Cooper that cocaine has been found in his car. Come on Bryson! You know that Cooper is innocent. The truth is out there! While Cooper dances with Audrey, Andy dances with Denise.

Conclusion

This episode was directed by Duwayne Dunham and written by Barry Pullman and maybe because Lynch and Frost weren’t at the helm, the episode did little to impress me, which is a damn shame because I really like this show. The best part was Cooper dancing with Audrey.

Josie and Catherine have a chat and now Josie will be working as Catherine’s maid. I wasn’t sure where this was going, but it seems the dead don’t stay dead in Twin Peaks. Josie and everyone else in the town thought that Andrew was killed in a boating accident. At the end of this episode Andrew Packard has returned, but what does his return have to do with Thomas Eckhardt, with Josie, with anything?

This was the first mention of the Black Lodge, but more time is spent on the stupid wedding than on the mystery of the Black and White Lodge. Major Briggs, who has been investigating the woods for years, is missing and there is no large search party looking for him? This whole thing with Cooper makes absolutely no sense. His work there is done. Why isn’t he back at Quantico for his suspension and meeting with the review board? Why the hell would the review board go to him?

I’m hoping the next episode is spent more on the Major’s disappearance and the history of the Black and White Lodges. Everything else is secondary.

On the last episode of “Twin Peaks,” we talked Black Lodge and my disappointment with the script. This week, I’m hoping to see some more action. The show seemed to shift onto a wrong track, like a runaway train, after Leland’s death. I’m hoping this shift is just temporary. Find out after the jump.

Ben

Why, oh, why isn’t Bobby out looking for his missing father, or better yet, in school? Instead we have the young Romeo trying to impress Ben Horne. He may have a problem with this because Ben has become a bit unhinged since his visit to the county jail. Bobby walks into Ben’s office to find him building some kind of totem pole consisting of furniture and stuffed animals. I have to give credit where credit is due. Richard Beymer is one hell of a talented actor. He can make the audience hate him in one episode and in the next, feel pity. Ben gives Bobby an assignment; spy on Hank Jennings and take lots of incriminating pictures. In a later scene, Ben has built a tiny version of Gettysburg and in his re-enactment; the south is winning.

The Great Northern must be a magnet for wacko people. As Bobby heads out of Ben’s office, we see Lana Milford running towards the lobby, screaming her head off. I’m not sure if it was Dougie’s time to die, but hell! What did he expect? Young wife, sex toys, and lots of sex manuals. At least the old coot went to the great beyond with a smile on his face. Mayor Milford thinks Lana killed his brother and he wants her arrested.

The mayor might be onto something. Lana tells Hawk that she might be cursed and men have a hard time surviving when she’s around. Hawk, the only one on this series that we could count on for normalcy, is now drooling over this girl. Don’t do this to us, Hawk!

While Hawke is making a fool of himself, Andy introduces Dick and Lucy to Judy, the case worker looking out for little Nicky. It seems that the boy’s parents died under mysterious circumstances. In fact, lots of bad things happen when little Nicky is around; just what we need, the Bad Seed. Did you recognize Judy? She none other than Molly Shannon and it’s before her stint with “Saturday Night Live.”

Dead Dog Farm

Cooper is working with a real estate agent. I guess he was serious about buying property in Twin Peaks. While Cooper and the real estate agent are at the Dead Dog farm, Cooper notices tire tracks around the property and the entrance door was left open. Someone had recently been there; ashtray full of cigarettes. Cooper, ever the federal agent even without the badge, finds some powered baby laxatives in the sink and cocaine on the chair. It’s time to call in Harry.

At the jail, Harry introduces Cooper to a Colonel Reilly. Up until this scene, I didn’t even know that the Air Force was investigating Brigg’s disappearance. Reilly knows more than he’s letting on and asks Cooper if there was any wildlife around when Brigg’s went missing. But, of course, we all know that the owls were there. The messages from space that Briggs told Cooper about were not from space, but from the woods. Just when we think we’ll get some intelligent information on what the hell is going on, Reilly does the old “national security dance routine.”

Bad Form

I love the Nadine character, but I would have preferred the writers sticking to the more interesting part of this episode. I wanted to know more about the signals from space and the secret work that Briggs was doing for the military. Instead, we have Nadine flirting with a boy young enough to be her son. Nadine has the hots for Mike and during wrestling practice Nadine throws Mike across the room like a rag doll, but she does this while asking him out on a date. This scene should have been saved for another episode. Cooper and Briggs were the story.

Same goes for the scene where James meets Evelyn’s brother, Malcolm, who tells James that Evelyn’s husband is an abuser. And, the scene where Catherine and Pete are drinking champagne while Josie waits on them. These are all scenes that should have been saved for another day.

Conclusion

I’m disappointed again. The writers had the opportunity to hold a tempting carrot in front of the viewers. With Laura’s murder solved and her killer dead, we needed a mystery worth sinking our teeth into. Colonel Brigg’s disappearance and the secrecy surrounding the nearby woods was just the hook to keep us interested in the show. But we were given cheap fodder that left us hungry.

What I did like was Audrey spying on Bobby and Ben and then taking the evidence to Cooper. Whenever Audrey and Cooper are together, you can literally feel the sparks between them. These two characters are why I watch the episodes and, what I would rather write about. I can’t say this enough, but Sherilyn Fenn is the best female character on the show. I loved how her face lights up when, after meeting Denise, she realizes that there are female agents. Yes, I could see our little Audrey being an FBI agent. She gave Cooper a big kiss and the needed information to bring down Jean Renault and his merry men. Is Denise interested in Audrey?

I did like the scene where Dick is pulled over to the side of the road with a flat tire. We get a feel of how dangerous little Nicky could be. Even though Dick and Nicky were dressed in matching outfits, I think Dick knows something isn’t right with the kid. Dick tells Andy that the boy might be a devil, and maybe they should reopen the investigation into the parents’ deaths. Yes, please do.

While the entire sheriff’s office is going gaga over Lana (another dead end scene), Bobby and his mom chat about the missing Major Briggs. I barely heard the conversation over the loudest storm in history. I was so happy when Briggs appeared inside his home. Maybe we’ll find out what is going on and why he’s dressed in aviator clothing from the First World War. Maybe we are dealing with aliens. That could explain the storm. It could explain a lot of things. Let’s hope the writers realized this before I watch episode thirteen.

On the last episode of “Twin Peaks,” Major Briggs returns and, we have a new Confederate General: Ben Horne. Can the Major tell Cooper what happened to him in the woods? Will the owls let him? Will the military?

Major Briggs

The Major has amnesia; everything is known to him and yet beyond his reach. Maybe his confusion was caused by the giant owl. This is looking more like an alien invasion and, what are those three triangular scars behind Brigg’s ears. When Doc Hayward suggests treatment to regain his memory, Briggs tells him that his mind is immune to regressive therapy. Every time it looks like the Major is about to tell them something important, his memory falters.

Cooper, Harry and the Doc won’t back off from this case and, they want to know what Briggs’s job involves; his secret military job. Briggs was involved with the UFO study called Project Blue Book and, although the project was ended in 1969, the Major continued his investigation into Twin Peaks looking for the place known as the White Lodge. Before the Major can tell them more, Colonel Reilly’s military guards come for him. Aliens have big eyes and so do owls. Is BOB an alien?

I had a friend, who during the early part of the Vietnam War, enlisted in the US Air Force. This kid was smart; genius smart, and within a year of joining, he was assigned to the Blue Book Project. When the war was over, “G” came back home to South Philly. He wasn’t the same. He wouldn’t talk about the work that he did on UFOs, but one night when it was just my dad and me in our family grocery store, “G” told us that the reports were true. He explained that most of the reports coming in about UFOs could be chalked up to natural occurrences… but there were many that could not. After his two tours of duty, “G” believed that there was intelligent life on other worlds. I would sometimes come home from a date and see him standing on the top step of his home… looking up at the sky.

While Cooper and Denise try to convince Ernie to help them trap Renault, we are forced to watch Dick and Andy sneak into an orphanage to look up Nicky’s files. If Nicky isn’t the Bad Seed then this scene was a big waste of time. What was important is Lucy helping Cooper with the personal ads and searching for messages from Windom Earle.

We see Ed and Norma reconnect again. I really feel sorry for these two people. Both of them are stuck with losers. Bobby and Shelly are finding out that romance goes down the toilet when you’re stuck with a comatose patient. James is trapped with a cougar and she’s using him to kill her husband. The kid is still in high school. Damn it!

Cougars

Mike is being stalked by another cougar, Nadine. If I were Mike’s mother, Nadine would be in jail… or dead. When I was a junior in high school, there was a young boy who lived down our street. He was a senior in high school and a real knock out. All the girls had a crush on this kid, but he was busy with school and an after school job. I’ll call him Pete. It’s not his real name. Pete was smart. His parents planned for him to attend college. He would have been the first in his family to do so. You can imagine his parents’ shock when he’d gotten an older neighbor pregnant.

This woman was new to the neighborhood, and almost ten years his senior. She was a cougar, just like Evelyn and Nadine. Why she wasn’t thrown in jail, I don’t know, but she and the boy moved in together. Over the next two years, this handsome boy became a shadow of himself. He was working two jobs to support the girlfriend and their two babies. I bumped into Pete a few years after I’d graduated from high school. He looked like an old man. If you’re wondering about my thoughts on Nadine and Evelyn hitting on young kids, I think it sucks!

Audrey is taking over more and more of her father’s responsibilities as he goes further and further into the rabbit hole of madness. He’s fighting a war. It’s a war between states and he has to make sure that General Lee faces no opposition. Audrey has put the call out for help with Dr. Jacoby and her Uncle Jerry. Audrey has gone from teenage sex kitten to the only person looking after the hotel and daddy. Where is Mrs. Horne during her husband’s psychotic downfall?

Harry surprises Cooper with a badge. Cooper is now a deputy and the joy in Cooper’s eyes reminds me of a child in a candy shop. It’s a step up for Cooper if you ask me, especially since he and Harry work so well together. I wasn’t expecting David Duchovny’s Denise to change clothes for the stakeout. He tells Cooper, “It seemed more appropriate.”

Conclusion

We need to bring Leland back. Something happened after Leland died. The show lost some of its mojo, but if Windom Earle is the bad ass that we’re led to believe he is, then I’ll be happy. What’s with Nadine’s super strength? Is no one in this town just a little bit curious about this? I have no idea why James is staying with Evelyn when he had Donna. And, why is Catherine visiting Ben? Didn’t they try to have each other killed and didn’t Catherine take everything from Ben? So, we’re left to wonder what the hell Catherine is up to now and, will General Horne fall for her newest scam?

The best part of this episode was Harry making Cooper a deputy and also the events at the Dead Dog Farm. When Ernie’s wire goes dead, Renault captures Ernie and Dennis, but Cooper, being the good guy, trades himself for their release. Renault talks about the benefits of living in Twin Peaks. It was strange listening to Renault talk about Twin Peaks before Cooper showed up. He blames Cooper’s arrival for Laura’s death. Renault liked it better before Cooper showed up and, thinks that Cooper brought the nightmare events with him. Maybe the nightmare will leave when Cooper is dead. Is it possible that the bad guys are not aware of BOB or the White and Black Lodges? That is what I took from this conversation.

I love Harry, always have. The town might be looney, and some of his staff might be missing a few days of the week, but Harry is a good cop who came up with a plan to save his friend and newest deputy. Harry gets Bryson to dress as a waitress and, under the guise of delivering food, gives a gun to Cooper. In the shuffle Renault is shot. Michael Ontkean plays his Harry as a good cop and he has won our loyalty. Besides Cooper and Audrey, Harry is one of my favorite characters.

While Shelly sleeps on the sofa, someone is moving about in the cabin. Leo, looking every bit as creepy as Twisty the Clown from “American Horror Story,” is awake. As Shelly lets out a scream, the lights go out at the Sheriff’s station. Someone planted a bomb in the woods. The explosion caused two fires; one at the power station. Windom Earle has made his next chess move and, it’s a killer.

Curse you, Andy Burns! Because of your book, Wrapped in Plastic: Twin Peaks, I’m hooked on this series. I arrived twenty-five years too late for the party, but I’m watching with eyes wide open. On the last episode of “Twin Peaks,” Windom Earle left the ultimate checkmate for Cooper. Renault is dead and Leo is awake… sort of. Will we ever learn the history between Windom and Cooper?

Pawn

I’ll have to hand it to the mysterious Windom Earle. He has a weird sense of humor, but I’m not sure what the deer head signifies. Cooper watches as Doc, Harry and Hawk do the initial investigation, but when the pawn piece is found in the victim’s mouth, there can be no second guessing who is behind this death. What is the deal between Cooper and Windom Earle and, how did they go from partners to adversaries. Will this Windom Earle character breathe some life back into a series that seemed to die a slow death after Leland’s death? One can only hope.

War

Dad is a looney tune, but Audrey is showing that she’s evolving into one smart business woman. She’s the one to suck up to. She needs Bobby’s help to get her father back from his Civil War psychosis. That’s a shame because General Ben Horne is doing one hell of a job leading his Confederate Johnny Rebs into victory as they march towards Washington. This whole General Ben scene was really funny, especially, when Ben’s brother Jerry arrives, or should I say, General J.E.B. Stewart. With Dr. Jacoby observing, we had all the coconuts confined to one room. Jacoby is counting on Ben’s total recovery if the south wins this pretend war. Maybe Dr. Jacoby could also help a few modern day delusional citizens who won’t admit the south lost.

Major Briggs collapses at the Sheriff’s office. Was he drugged? He’s worried that his Air Force superiors are not being honest with him about the White Lodge. Briggs thinks that he was taken to the White Lodge when he disappeared, but he can’t remember. Is the White Lodge an anomaly in time and space? Are we dealing more with little green men than with demons? We’re left hanging for more tidbits, but alas, the answers will have to wait because Briggs will be hiding in the shadows.

While Bobby is sucking up to Audrey, Shelly is fending off zombie Leo. Yep, Leo is awake and he’s pissed off. He’s heard the conversations and declarations of love between Shelly and Bobby. People don’t realize that comatose patients are able to hear conversations. When I worked in the Intensive Care Unit of a South Philadelphia hospital many years ago, it was common for our patients to awake from a coma and tell us what they heard the nurses and doctors say while they were under. In one case, a wealthy woman had her lawyer change her Will as soon as she awoke because of what she heard her children saying while she was in a coma. Never stop talking to your loved ones, even if they are unable to reply. They can hear you and, it might be the sound of your voice that eventually brings them back to consciousness.

I have to admit, this scene with Leo and Shelly was one of the scariest scenes we’ve had since Leland attacked Maddy. Shelly is locked inside the house with no way out and no one to hear her screams. It was uncomfortable watching this. Bobby arrives as Leo takes an ax to Shelly, but it’s Shelly who saves the day and sends Leo running into the woods. We are left to wonder if Leo will fall prey to the giant owl that is hovering around the woods.

Cooper has been cleared of all charges with the department, but he’s still on suspension. Cooper’s happy being Harry’s deputy. Throughout the two seasons, the focus was on the friendship between these two law men. I’ll need to ask Andy Burns if these two actors, Kyle MacLachlan and Michael Ontkean, were friends off the set because they made it look real in front of the camera. Cooper finally tells Harry why Windom Earle (Kenneth Welsh) is out to get him, but not before mentioning that he and Windom used to play lots of chess games together. Cooper never won. It’s hard to fathom that our little boy scout, Cooper, had baggage. Here are the facts: Windom was Cooper’s mentor and partner; Cooper was assigned to protect Caroline Earle (Brenda E. Mathers), a witness to a murder and Windom’s wife; Cooper and Caroline became lovers; Cooper now believes that Windom not only killed Caroline, but also attacked him; Windom was captured and institutionalized.

Weenies

Okay, this is going to be my code name for all the useless scenes in each episode. Andy’s suspicions about little Nicky, falls on deaf ears. Lucy doesn’t want to hear anything bad about the boy. She gets Doc to talk to Andy and Dick about little Nicky. Doc Haywood gives this big sob story about the boy. After his mother’s death Nicky lived in an orphanage. His adoptive parents died in a car crash. Andy and Dick cry and I say bull! Apparently, no one in Twin Peaks has ever seen the film, The Bad Seed.  Children are capable of murder. Why they do it is a mystery, but it could be in the genes.

Useless storyline part two. Ed confides in Doc about Nadine and him in bed and her wanting to date teenage boys. What’s Doc’s advice? He tells Ed to give Nadine a curfew. Why isn’t Doc Haywood admitting Nadine for some type of evaluation? Ed should dump Nadine and stick with Norma, especially since Hank is back in the slammer.

Useless storyline part three. James meets Evelyn’s husband Jeffrey. Jeffrey is on the set all of three minutes before jumping into the car that James fixed and dying in a car crash. How convenient for the writers, but not for us viewers. We never see him abusing Evelyn. We know nothing about the man. We don’t see the crash. All we know is that the police arrive and so does Donna after she talks to Evelyn at a bar. What the hell?

Useless storyline part four. Dr. Jacoby vouches for the dead Dougie’s wife. According to Dr. Jacoby, Lana isn’t a bad girl. She’s just an expert at turning men on. The Mayor, shotgun in hand, is permitted by Harry and Cooper to speak privately with Lana. This is such a stupid storyline that I hope I don’t have to watch anything about Lana and the mayor ever again.

Conclusion

The Weenie parts are outnumbering the good parts of the show. I hope this changes. What I found interesting was Pete’s surprise when he sees that his dead brother-in-law is still alive and that Catherine was part of the ruse. Andrew saved Catherine from the mill fire and helped her defeat Ben. Andrew doesn’t know that Eckhart is at the Great Northern.

Cooper is not the knight in shining armor that we were led to believe and, I love him even more for this. Cooper fell madly in love. Unfortunately, it was to a woman who was already married. Windom had most likely already lost his mind when he’d committed the crime that Caroline witnessed, but knowing that Cooper and Caroline were lovers, pushed Windom Earle over the ledge. Now he’s playing a bloody chess game with our Cooper and I don’t like it.

I think we’re back on track. “Twin Peaks” has found its Mojo again. The horror is back and with a vengeance. Leo stumbles back to his home, under the watchful eyes of the giant owl, to find a stranger waiting. The stranger wants to play a game of chess. Hell yeah!