Twin Peaks S02 E05: The Orchid’s Curse

Holy Multiple Plots!  In this episode of “Twin Peaks,” a mysterious visitor drops in at the Great Northern Lodge. Will Mr. Tajamura pull the wool over the rascally Ben Horne’s greedy eyes? Will Donna steal Laura’s diary from Harold? Hang on to your gavel and meet me at the courthouse.

Gum Drops and Ear Plugs

Cooper is blabbering on his recorder about eating gum drops to the still unseen, saintly secretary, Diane. Cooper is disappointed to learn that his dream gum drops were ear plugs; double gross out. But, it’s nothing that a hand-stand won’t cure. You never know what you’ll find under a hotel bed, but luckily for Cooper, he finds Audrey’s note.

Lucy tells Harry that she is temporarily leaving town to visit family. If I were Lucy, I’d worry about the status of my job if my employer seemed that happy to see me go. Harry practically shoved Lucy out the door. With the ongoing drama about Lucy’s pregnancy and Andy’s sperm, we finally get the test results for Andy. Can you say, “Oligospermia?” Andy’s sperm has gone from status “three men on a fishing trip” to “a whole damn town.” I love Andy. He’s dumber than shit, but he is so lovable. I can totally relate to the scene where Andy is covered in post-it slips. That’s what I look like when I’m formatting my manuscripts. When Andy calls the emergency number left by Lucy, he reaches an abortion clinic. Can you say, “Should have worn a condom?”

Bobby and Shelly test drive the patient lift and wheelchair for when Leo comes home and, guess who the salesman is? I loved David L. Lander when he played Squiggy on the “Laverne and Shirley” series and he is just as funny playing the slick, Tim Pinkle. Shelly and Bobbie are out for Leo’s insurance money, but they’ll have to care for him at home. Watching Bobbie and Tim’s antics working the patient lift was hilarious, but when you’re taking care of a loved one at home; it’s no laughing matter and you better pray that your insurance policy covers medical equipment.

Justice

Even the court in the wacky town of Twin Peaks is a joke, and to prove it, we only have to observe Andy doing his own version of court room sketches. The judge allows Leland to go home until the trial, but the second case on the docket has a doctor explaining to the court why a comatose man can’t stand trial. The prosecutor disagrees. Thank goodness the court is held in a bar because when the judge calls for recess, it’s only a few feet away to a cool drink. I have a feeling that Judge Judy would have thrown this Judge Sternwood in jail. Luckily for Leo, his comatose condition has saved him from a murder trial.

Donna has to sit through another reading of Laura’s diary. Harold is a weird man who can’t leave the house. What’s his problem? I’m going with vampire until proven wrong. He’s a sicko that likes to read Laura’s diary for a price; Donna’s secret thoughts, which he writes down in a copybook. Donna can only bullshit Harold so long before she runs out of steamy subjects to talk about. She needs to steal that diary. She needs Maddy’s help. It’s like watching Lucy and Ethel on one of their adventures.

Nadine

I had to go back several times as I was reviewing this episode to make sure I wasn’t seeing things. But, if we weren’t already aware of Nadine’s mental state, seeing one of her knickknacks wearing an eye patch, made it quite clear how nutty she was. Nadine is home from the hospital. She’s happy as a teenager in love. That’s because the dingbat thinks she’s eighteen. Poor Ed. Something is different about Nadine. She’s acquired superhuman strength. That, my friend, is very scary.

Mr. Tajamura has an offer that Ben can’t refuse; five million dollars. Have you noticed all the people that check into the Great Northern Lodge? I don’t know what Ben charges for rooms, but it’s like the United Nations over there.

Later, Cooper listens in on the ransom call that Ben receives. Cooper takes the cash and leaves, but Ben has Hank follow him. Knowing Cooper is being set up, he tells Hank to return with Audrey and the money.

Conclusion

“Twin Peaks” is described as a serial drama, but after watching the first season and part of the second, I would have to disagree. Sure the show revolves around a serious subject matter; the rape and murder of a young girl, but there are just too many funny scenes included for this series to be listed as a drama. I think we’ll have to come up with a new description. This episode ends with Jean Renault acting like he’s 007. He has a gadget up his sleeve that will send a knife into Cooper’s heart. Luckily, he fails, but Blackie’s luck has run out. I have two sisters and we’ve had our share of sibling battles when growing up, but it takes a coldhearted bitch to want her sister killed. Blackie was betrayed by her sister and killed by her ex-lover.

Cooper and Harry make their way through One Eyed Jacks. This casino has the ugliest wallpaper in the world and never-ending hallways. Cooper finds his Audrey. I say ‘his’ Audrey because the way Cooper acts when he finds Audrey, leaves no doubt that he has feelings for the girl.

Audrey is safe, thanks to Hawk coming to the rescue. Hank is captured by Jean Renault. Harold goes bat shit crazy with a garden tool when he discovers Maddy stealing the diary. Luckily for Maddy and Donna, Harold uses the garden tool on himself. Yep, it’s just another day in Twin Peaks.